The Biggest Screen Possible

That's what you'll need if you ever want to get the most enjoyment out of Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim, the "giant robots vs. giant monsters" inspired less by Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and more on Japanese monster films like Godzilla and the popular anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion. del Toro's stock might have taken a hit in recent years (he hasn't directed a film since 2008's well-reviewed but financially-disappointing Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and his production efforts have drawn little in the way of audiences), but this is still the same man who wowed us with bizarre and imaginative visuals in Pan's Labyrinth and the original Hellboy. He's gained a following as an artist who thrives on creativity and original ideas, and like a more talented Tim Burton he loves to drench his movies in his signature level of darkness and dark humor. This makes his movies instantly worth watching, as you never get the feeling that you're seeing the same old story just one more time.That said, "giant robots vs. giant monsters" isn't exactly going to appeal to anything outside a niche audience, and even with the full backing of Warner Bros. Pictures, it seems like an incredible risky project to make. So it's up to one director and his barely-famous cast to make the whole thing work.

Yeah, it was a bad day to live on the coast.

At the beginning of Pacific Rim, we're told the history of the unexpected Kaiju (translated: giant monster) attacks on major cities around the globe. A portal between dimensions has been opened deep beneath the Pacific Ocean, and it keeps spewing forth these destructive Kaiju with no end in sight. When our militaries can only do so much, countries around the world fund the Jaeger program; giant robots designed to go toe-to-toe with their gargantuan enemy, in which two pilots share the mental strain of melding their brains to a machine of war for greater effect. At first, they are successful, until more monstrous creatures begin to cross the breach. Now the Jaegers are all but decimated, the program shut down not only by lost comrades but by the dwindling hopes and funds of shell-shocked nations. With only a few of the colossi left, and one piloted by a washed-up operator (Charlie Hunnam) and an inexperienced rookie (Rinko Kinkuchi), the remnants of the force must pull together and finish the job before the Kaiju succeed and completely exterminate the planet.

Wait 'til you see them dance the Robot.

Let me reiterate: if you're going to see Pacific Rim (and putting aside genre bias, there's no reason you shouldn't), do yourself a favor and watch it on the BIGGEST SCREEN AVAILABLE. This isn't just a special effects bonanza; it's the KING of special effects bonanzas. Thanks to major studios shelling out big bucks for CGI, there have been some exceptionally beautiful movies this year, sporting names like Oblivion, Man of Steel and Star Trek Into Darkness. But Pacific Rim puts them all to shame with wholly immersing environmental effects, a 3D system that actually draws you into the action (remember when that was supposed to be a thing?), and computer generated creatures that actual feel seamless with the real world to which we are presented. del Toro has an amazing creative eye, and it comes out in every conceivable facet, from the vastly differing designs of the Jaegers to the varied monstrosities apparent in the Kaiju. He truly makes his little universe alive, and the battle scenes especially feel epic in scope; though they take up perhaps far too much of the movie as they should, they're never over-long or boring, as we've seen in many a summer blockbuster. Overall, it makes for a unique visual feat that filmmakers will be trying to emulate for decades.

I have GOT to get my beer goggles tuned...

But while the opulent visual artistry is there for all to see, it's a shame that the rest of Pacific Rim feels so... pedestrian. A distinct lack of character development is a major factor, a shame especially considering the talent involved. Charlie Hunnam might not have much leading man experience beyond his Sons of Anarchy role, but he proves to at least be serviceable here. Though his character is obviously a cheap knock-off of the best of John Wayne or Clint Eastwood, he at least puts everything he has into  Raleigh Beckett's typical American cowboy. Rinko Kikuchi, who was nominated for an Oscar back in 2006 for her deaf, traumatized teenager in Babel, is the same, playing the kind of self-deprecating, timid sort we're used to seeing Asians play in cinema. You can tell that she has talent; she's just never given a chance to really stand out. Rounding out the the trio of stars is Luther and The Wire star Idris Elba as the tough-as-nails chief of the Jaeger program, who really gets to have fun with the Bull-Pullman-esque speech to set up Rim's final act.

That's right: Elba stands above you because he's better.

Like the lazily-designed characters, there's no trope from del Toro's "Jaeger vs. Kaiju" story that discerning fans haven't seen dozens if not hundreds of times before. Leading characters with a tragic past? Triple check. Requisite comedic relief in the form of two scientists (Charlie Day and Burn Gorman), not to mention a particularly flamboyant black market dealer (Ron Perlman)? Check. Field technician in a bow tie (Clifton Collins, Jr)? Rival Jaeger operators (Max Martini and Rob Kazinsky) with no real basis behind their beef? Scientists missing crucial details on subjects they're supposed to be experts on (and that the audience already understands to be truth)? Confusing, slightly lackluster ending? Really, let's just mark all of those down right now. As original as it might feel to an audience with no prior knowledge of the genre, there's way too much reliance on what came before and not enough unique aspects that have been a staple of the director's work. That's what's truly disappointing about Pacific Rim: for all the creator's supposed chutzpah, this is at its core standard action fare with few frills.

Yeah, this big ol' crowd walk has never been done before.

But as "standard" as it is, del Toro still manages to present to his audience a gorgeous, amazingly fun popcorn film that perfectly balances the over-the-top action with a sense of humor and heart that most career action directors are still trying to master. Is it perfect? Heck no, or at least in the case of a paint-by-numbers action flick cannot truly be perfected. It's still a direct product of its genre, and that's just not going to appeal to a large selection of theater-goers out there. To those people I would normally recommend a rental, but in this case I cannot. Pacific Rim is easily approachable and can be enjoyed by anyone, and its groundbreaking visual effects simply cannot be appreciated on anything smaller than a standard theatrical screen. I even recommend 3D, and anybody who knows me understands my general distaste for that particular overused technology. The fact is that this is an event movie, suitable for geeks and non-geeks alike, and deserves your patronage while it's still in the theaters. It's not one of Guillermo del Toro's best... but it sure is one of his most fun.

Which Witch?

Now, I know what you're thinking: Mr. Anderson is gone on a week-and-a-half-long hiatus and when he comes back it's just with a stupid rental review? Yeah, I agree. But my week removed from film came at a time when the industry as a whole seemed to take time off, sitting back and letting The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn's box office run go unmolested. The few "important" movies out that I hadn't seen (chiefly The Descendants and My Week with Marilyn) were not ones I was terribly excited to watch, and this past weekend's wide releases were also more than a bit underwhelming, as the star-boasting New Years Eve and R-rated comedy The Sitter don't exactly nicely follow in the footsteps of truly great 2011 films like Hugo, Arthur Christmas, or The Muppets. Fortunately, with much anticipated films Shame, the Sherlock Holmes sequel, and others finally making their ways onto the big screen this month, I'll be back to seeing so many new releases that getting around to renting older titles will surely be stopped for the near future.

But enough exposition! Season of the Witch combines a number of bad cinematic elements that at first glance look like an easy contender for the year's (if not decade's) worst film. Star Nicholas Cage's run of surprisingly successful crap shoots finally hit a snag this year when he managed to bomb what should have been a likable effort in Drive Angry, breaking records as the lowest-grossing wide release 3D film to that point. And that was the option most likely to be successful! There really should have been no way that Season of the Witch was going to be any better, as it transplanted Cage's penchant for cheesy dialogue and grim stoicism to a Middle Ages setting, making for a genre that doesn't on paper seem deserving of much attention. And yet those who sit down and watch this particular film might find themselves surprised at the entertainment level of the film, especially if they've also sat through Cage's 3D farce this year.

Nic Cage: the same bed head since 1983

Teutonic knights Behman von Bleibruck (Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman) return to their home country after years fighting in the Crusades, weary and angry at the church that ordered them to murder innocent women and children in His name. Fearless warriors, they find themselves in yet another war, one in which their sword skills will have no impact. The Black Death has ravaged the land of Styria, and the church leaders blame the arrival of a young woman (Claire Foy) for it, calling her a witch. They want Behman and Felson to escort the accused woman to a monastic church where she can be properly judged as to whether or not she is unholy. And so, with a small group behind them, the duo travel on a holy quest, ironic since neither has much love for religion at all.

"Oh, my God" takes on a whole different meaning

Naturally, it's this conflict of faiths that is the underlying tone of Season of the Witch, and the one taken most seriously by the film's script. In the beginning, Behman was an unquestioning follower of God, glad to do battle against His enemies. When the slaughter of innocents forces Behman to take a close look at what he has done, he rejects God, as he believes no real god would allow these atrocities to befall people. It is this mindset with which he agrees to escort the young woman, practically daring the church to prove their argument. The balance is well-regarded, as each member of the group has their own preconceived notions of what is good and evil as the quest begins, and the survivors learn to change their ideas as they go along. In short, this is one of the better "crisis of faith" plot lines I've seen committed to film in recent years.

Soap: it's what's for dinner

It's a shame then that the story and dialogue surrounding this idea are almost laughable in the face of judgment. Director Dominic Sena, who hasn't seemed to grow as a director since his 1993 debut Kalifonia (and arguably has diminished since then), is utterly unable weave tension into what is supposed to be an action movie. While the film does fine concerning the interactions between characters, this doesn't translate to the precious few action sequences, which are supposed to be the linchpin that brings the whole thing together. There's only so much "is she or isn't she" that we can take before it gets old, but Sena didn't get the memo, and focuses more on that than creating compelling battles. Even Conan the Barbarian did a better job of creating a viable universe of potential battle.

And here's where YOU'LL die...

Doing anything worse than Conan would be unforgivable in itself, but in the film as a whole there isn't a whole lot to appreciate here. Dialogue is delivered in dry, emotionless monotones, or at least it is when done so by Nicolas Cage. Cage actually turns in a decent performance given the material he's saddled with. Cage is no longer the wunderkind he was in his heyday, or even the modestly talented performer who could surprise you with films like 2002's Adaptation. These days his starring roles mainly consist of doing exactly what he does in Season of the Witch: enough. It's easy to see the roles that have been written for him; pithy catchphrases throughout with just enough wit sprinkled in to take advantage of his deadpan stares and straightforward delivery. It's difficult to really criticize him for slacking off on a movie, since I've seen him in worse THIS YEAR. As it is, when he states that "I serve the Church no more", even other characters make fun of him. At least some of the others seem to be having a good time, especially Perlman as Felson, lover of drink and women. Perlman does well in these types of roles, delivering each line of dialogue with an ear-to-ear grin on his face, or an overly dour grimace when the situation calls for it. Stephen Campbell Moore also manages to stand out, and is even given a few choice quips in order to earn a chuckle from the audience. Robert Sheehan, Ulrich Thomsen and Stephen Graham do serviceable jobs, but barely transcend their meager character attributes. Foy however is easily the most talented, the English TV star showing quite a bit of talent in her first Hollywood role. She really makes you wonder whether or not she is a force of evil, and is the most flexible, interesting character in the mix. Not bad when you consider that she spends almost the entirety of the movie locked in a cage.

No, this isn't some "babes behind bars" exploitation flick

Of course, one great performance doesn't make for an amazing movie-going experience, and when you consider the dearth of a special effects budget (which also hampered Sena's last attempt at moviemaking Whiteout) and a ridiculous twist that has to make the most of the aforementioned SFX, there isn't much to recommend Season of the Witch as anything more than an unintentionally funny trash film. If you really, REALLY want to see a historically-inspired "action" film that you will enjoy entirely based on how stoned you are - or if you just want to see any Nic Cage film - then Season of the Witch can be entertaining on that level alone. If however you actually want to see a GOOD film, you should slowly put this title back on the shelf, take a couple of steps back, and search elsewhere.

Driving Force

What a mess last weekend was, huh? With three brand new cinema releases vying to make a big payday, none of the big three managed to take the crown. In fact, the film that ended up at number one in the country wasn't even a film initially released THIS YEAR. With the 3D release of popular Disney film The Lion King cleaning house and flexing it's still-potent drawing power, it cut a swath through the latest pretenders, including a remake of an obscure Dustin Hoffman film and a stunted attempt to reignite Sarah Jessica Parker's acting career. But the biggest tragedy of that September weekend is that Drive, a special highlight of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival, suffered somewhat at the hands of an elderly animated carnivore. Granted, Drive and Lion King have different audiences. But for a movie that has so far garnered much praise from critics and screening audiences to finish second at the box office to a title that was first released in June of 1994 is never a good thing, and already interest in this Internet-hyped title has begun to dwindle. This is yet another speed bump in the recent push of actor Ryan Gosling's career, following an Academy Award snub for his lower-class romantic in Blue Valentine (granted, it was a packed field, but I would have at least nominated him). Put together by Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn, Drive only recently appeared on my radar, but quickly became one of my more anticipated September releases thanks to its amazing visuals, unique and talented cast, and its not-so-subtle portrayal of Gosling as the nouveau Steve McQueen.

At least he's not driving angry...

Based on the 2005 James Sallis novel, Drive centers around an unnamed protagonist (Gosling) who works as a mechanic and Hollywood stunt driver by day and moonlights as a freelance getaway driver after the sun goes down. His boss Shannon (Bryan Cranston) wants to expand into stock car racing, and approaches underworld Don Bernie Ross (Albert Brooks) for an investment, convincing him that he has the best driver available. Meanwhile, the driver's potential romance with neighbor and single mother Irene (Carey Mulligan) is cut short when Standard (Oscar Isaac), her husband and the father of her child, returns home from prison. Agreeing to help Standard settle prison debts, our hero is the victim of a deal gone bad, and a life of relative anonymity collapses as he finds himself with many enemies and precious few friends while he tries to right the wrongs that have been committed.

Let's see: guy with the shotgun vs. the big name actor? As if there's any doubt

While the story itself isn't much to speak of, the way it is told is almost masterful. You likely haven't heard of Refn, whose films haven't made much of a name for themselves on this side of the Atlantic. Arguably his biggest film, Bronson, isn't much known outside of breaking in future Hollywood "It" performer Tom Hardy, and that made more impact on DVD than it had in the theater. It must have caught the eye of Gosling however, who was given the chance to name Drive's director when he joined the film. Even early on, you can tell that Refn is a visually-talented director, with many of his camera shots eloquent and beautiful in their execution. He makes every shot perfect, whether framing wide to see an entire scene play out, or closing in on someone's face at the PERFECT angle, not unlike the 2010 Anton Corbijn film The American. While he does some very close shots during car chase scenes, it never serves to confuse the audience as to what is happening on screen, and that is important because I've never seen a director who take that level of responsibility and handle it so smoothly.

Okay, she even LOOKS a little like Michelle Williams...

Refn's talent is such that when he suddenly turns into something of a European Robert Rodriguez, it is so surprising. With a first half of a film that is almost violence free, you don't expect it when the whole thing turns unabashedly bloody. All of the sudden we're subjected to shotgun blasts, exploding heads, stabbings, drownings, crushed skulls, sliced wrists, and just about anything remotely uncomfortable to watch in one setting. I mean, I knew there had to be a reason for the film's R rating, but for the film to take such a turn was so completely unpredictable and speaks to the director's tact and balance. That Refn even makes the violence watchable (albeit through the gaps in your fingers) is stellar, as it is not detracting at all from his amazing camerawork.

Despite his preparation, he never saw Simba coming.

Once again we have another stellar lead role for Gosling, who is destined to become the next big thing in Hollywood, even if audiences aren't completely behind him. Definitely composing an old-school vibe that's  reminiscent of McQueen while still very much being his own artist, Gosling is a force from beginning to end, as he threads those narrow routes from icy emotionless driver to reluctantly warm human being and back again. He is the best part of Drive by a good margin, and continues to be a joy to watch in any medium. It can't be long before he becomes the favorite in a Best Actor race, and who knows, he might just win. Sadly, Carey Mulligan is a mere victim/love interest, although she is at least believable as such. While it may not be as dull as he role in the Wall Street sequel, she's still a far way away from showing the initiative that made her breakout role in 2009's An Education such a novelty. There are some brave casting choices here, but picking Albert Brooks as the film's heavy was one of pure genius. More known for his comedies, Brooks manages to actually steal some of Gosling's limelight (not too much, mind you) with his smarmy crime lord. Bryan Cranston continues to do great work in small roles, a nice side gig to his successful television career. There are some very good smaller parts on the menu, with talented actors taking their share. Between Ron Perlman's menacing gangster and Christina Hendricks as an icy stick-up artist Refn seems to choose the perfect embodiment of his characters. And that doesn't even account for Oscar Isaac, who we should hate because he was in prison and rivals the Driver for Irene's affections but is really a pretty good guy. Most of the film roles aren't cliches, and even those that are get some extra credit from the viability of those playing them, a rare sight indeed.

He's just about ready for his Oscar, America

In this age of 3D shark-jumping, plot-less scripts, and billion dollar motion pictures, a beautifully-shot and remarkably intelligent film is difficult enough to immediately find, let alone one that is successful. While the film sometimes slows down to a point where you could call it more patient than its audience, Drive overcomes this by making even these slow moments worth watching with enough eye-candy to make it one of the most visually appealing movies of the year. Opulence alone would be enough to place it among the year's best, but the excellent direction and amazing acting propel it to the top of my Top 10 list, square at #1. When you put this much talent together, good things can happen. And when that talent successfully puts something together with out-of-the-box thinking, it can only get better.

Battle Tested, NOT Mom Approved

What was the last sword and sorcery film you saw in the theaters? Think about that for a minute. When was the last time you even knew of a sword and sorcery film to be IN a theater? We all may be familiar with the genre, as over the years we've come across various VHS tapes of random cult classics over the years, but most of these are small budget foreign films that we laugh at rather than actually cherish as strong moviemaking. Dragonslayer, Krull, and the Beastmaster series all appeal to some people, but it has been a difficult venture to push this type of violent, action-driven movie among the masses. Despite that, some classic films have been major box office winners, perhaps most notably the 1982 film Conan the Barbarian. After this "Golden Age", however the genre has grown somewhat ignored, as while 2010's Clash of the Titans was an undeniable success, others have not been so lucky. Kull the Conqueror was a massive failure that almost ended the acting career of Kevin Sorbo, and Pathfinder was a bust, this one starring the talented Karl Urban. Strangely, both these titles have a connection to the recently-released Conan the Barbarian reboot: Kull was originally intended to be a new Conan film, but franchise star Arnold Schwarzeneggar did not want to reprise his classic role and Sorbo did not want to retread another actor's star. And Pathfinder was directed by Marcus Nispel, who also helmed this latest Conan title, which raises as many eyebrows as it furrows. For one thing, there is the complete lack of star power pushing this title. While we'll get to that later, there's also the risk in restarting a famous franchise after so long a time, egregious use of 3D (which by now can be safely called a "fad"), and last but not least, entering into a genre that really hasn't received as much love as in its heyday. The trailers made it look bad, but at my good friend Steve's insistence, I put my fears aside to attempt enjoying a title of which I had no impression that I was to be entertained.

Early casting for Baywatch: Hyborea

As origin stories go, this one isn't too bad; born by blood in a great battle, young Conan grows destined to become on of his villages better warriors, attempting to prove himself to his father (Ron Perlman) the tribe's elder, and the rest of his village as well. This ends when warlord Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) invades to find a piece to a mystical relic that will allow him to conquer the world of Hyborea. After murdering or enslaving everyone but Conan, the boy is left to bury his father and make his own way. As an adult, Conan (Jason Momoa) is an aimless free rider, leading a pack of do-gooders who battle those who would inflict harm on others. Doing this is all a plot for Conan to find the man who destroyed his life, and he finally relocates Zym as the despot searches for the final piece to the same puzzle he was attempting to solve so long ago. Zym has hunted down the last of the "pure bloods", descended from a race of ancient necromancers. Now to prevent Zym from realizing his goals and obtain his revenge, Conan must keep unassuming maiden Tamara (Rachel Nichols) out of the clutches of Zym and his lieutenants.

Hmmm, for some reason I'm putting my money on the Kid

That it's a classic "damsel in distress" story is probably the most disappointing thing about Conan the Barbarian, as an interesting origin story is ultimately wasted on what passes as the rest of the film. All the elements are in place. Tamara as unassuming and unprepared for her destiny, Khalar Zym's warlock daughter Marique (Rose McGowan), an ancient prophecy (expressly spelled out in the film's opening), an endless supply of underlings before we get to the hero/villain battle, etc, etc. Do I have to really spell it out for you? If it wasn't for the fact that we see this theme far too often in MODERN movies this would probably not be the worst concept for a franchise reboot. However, expectations are supposed to be raised in these situations, and this story just doesn't cut it. Nispel also shares some of the blame, as while he pieces together some genuinely fun battle sequences, I can't help but feel he's another Zack Snyder in the making. The better scenes are devoid of dialogue and play out like some medieval music video set to heavy metal, not too unlike the best parts of this year's awful Sucker Punch. That Nispel is no more than a poor man's Snyder is at this stage in his career is fairly damning, as his earlier works were far more heralded and successful.

Not the best place to meet a half-naked barbarian, no

However, if Nispel did have one point of success, it was casting Jason Momoa as the titular hero. Slimmer and more athletic than the burly Schwarzenegger ever was, Momoa at first seems like an odd choice, as most people remember his early role of Jason Ioane on Baywatch Hawaii. However, many people don't realize that he's actually built a nice little career for himself, following a gap of productivity post-Baywatch with a significant role on the cult series Stargate Atlantis and a star-making turn on HBO's latest hit series Game of Thrones, based on the novels by George R R Martin. I have to believe that it was his work on Thrones that ultimately landed him the role of Conan, and he's easily the best part of the film as a whole. Physical presence aside, Momoa is convincing emotionally and actually gets a chance to show more than just the guttural growls that the preview trailers have allowed us to see. A shame that the rest of the cast is uninspired by comparison. Or maybe they just seem so compared to Momoa. Ron Perlman and Stephen Lang don't tread far from their usual ground, but they excel in those narrow ranges so that works out fine. The worst is probably Rachel Nichols, not surprising considering what seemed to be a lack of commitment to her work in GI Joe a couple of years ago. With a little hard work, she could have done more than be a pretty face, but perhaps that's too much to ask of her. Rose McGowan is actually okay, her slightly incestuous witch character made complete with a total makeup transformation. Still, she's not given enough moments to shine, often overshadowed by Lang in most scenes.

At least the horse isn't 3D rendered

One thing I would have loved could have been more character development of Zym's lieutenants and mercenaries. There were some, such as former NFL player and mediocre MMA fighter Bob Sapp as a churlish giant or Diana Lubenova as the leader of a team of blind archers, that feel underused as little more than cannon fodder (so you can imagine how the REAL cannon fodder was treated). I would have appreciated if we had seen less of the exploits of Conan and Tamara and turned the camera their way once in a while. But even the leads have little in the way of character development, as tracks are predictable and dialogue is silly to the point of excruciating. And the special effects? Servicable but nothing special, once again this is a title that is hampered by 3D expectations. I know I keep harping on about how bad 3D gets, but if they'd stop dropping unlit fuses in front of me I wouldn't be tempted to fetch my lighter so often. Here it isn't even bad so much as useless, as there isn't anything that makes effective use of the technology. Even Final Destination 5 had better 3D applications, and that's far from the vanguard of master filmmaking. There isn't a single movie in my Top 10 that was ever released in 3D (to my knowledge) and I've seen no reason to add any. Far from the "future" of filmmaking, I'm sure 3D will run its course with all but the most worthy titles before too long as the misses continue to outpace the hits.

Don't make him angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry

Jason Momoa has earned a hit. As the best part of Conan the Barbarian, he DESERVES one. However, this film isn't it. Perhaps people just don't care about Conan as much as Hollywood thought. Perhaps they DID know, but decided to experiment anyway. Either way, hopefully this doesn't hurt Momoa's standing as a star in the making. Undeniably charismatic and utterly devoted to his roles, Momoa is the ONLY genuine reason to pay for a ticket to see this film in the theaters. The rest isn't BAD, but the film doesn't outstrip its limited origins enough to make a good first impression, nor harbor any hopes of a series continuation. You can safely skip it, but part of me does grieve that this might be the last Conan film we see for quite a while (Hollywood never gives up on anything). If it had gotten a better director, better script and more support (and maybe a Red Sonja). this had a chance to be a good summer release. Bad management put an end to that, and it will instead end up among the forgotten of 2011.