Yesterday Was Our Independence Day!

I admit that I make mistakes. I generally post reviews in the order in which I see them. It makes things easier to keep track of, and even if I'm backed up and can't review a movie for several days, I have some way of pacing my writing. The only exceptions are my Open Letters Monthly posts, which are almost always reviewed upon my watching them and don't get in line behind the rest. That being said, yesterday I reviewed the independent film The Bling Ring, about a bunch of kids who stole from rich celebrities. Realizing now that yesterday was July 4'th, how could I completely miss the obvious and not review the most patriotic film in theaters right now, White House Down?

The second of two "terrorists take over the White House" movies this year (the first was March's mediocre Olympus Has Fallen), White House Down has some serious advantages over Antoine Fuqua's strikingly similar Spring effort. For one, this film is from director Roland Emmerich, who before this has already blown up the building at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (Independence Day) and crashed a tsunami into it for good measure (2012). It's safe to say that if anybody knows how to tell a story in which a paramilitary group (led by an excellent Jason Clarke) breaks into the White House to capture President James Sawyer (Jamie Foxx) and take a number of others hostage, while on the outside the public can only watch in horror. The country's only hope? Failed Secret Service applicant John Cale (Channing Tatum), a former soldier and present police officer who had tried for the job to impress his estranged, politically-inspired daughter Emily (Joey King). Now, with Emily numbered along with the hostages and the President's life in his hands, John must find a way to help Sawyer escape while also rescuing his daughter. Oh, yes, and stopping a global terror plot that threatens to derail the President's Middle East peace offer. So, no pressure.

This is the man who will save the planet.

Surprisingly for a Roland Emmerich film, however, the strongest aspect of the movie might be the casting. When Olympus Has Fallen came out, it's only strength was a cast headlined by Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart and Morgan Freeman. It was an excellent collection of actors who almost allowed that title to rise above it's idiotic story, but White House Down offers just as strong a group, if not better, led by the charismatic pairing of Tatum and Foxx. Tatum has seen a huge upswing in his career after an excellent 2012, and continues that trend here as an everyman who finds himself in an impossible situation. Some critics have taken to calling White House Down "Die Hard in the White House", and on more than one front they'd be right, as there's plenty of common ground between Cale and franchise favorite John McClane. It's obvious that Emmerich was inspired by that series, including many references and Easter Eggs hinting at his love of all things Die Hard. But that would mean nothing if Tatum couldn't live up to the comparison, and he does so with gusto, matching up nicely with the A-level 80's action star in physicality, humor and overall acting ability (not to mention his white tank top). In fact, the only thing missing from Tatum's arsenal is a witty catchphrase, so essential to McClane's sustained survival over the years. Still, it's been a long time since Tatum was a dry portion of an underwhelming GI Joe movie, and he shows here that he's not taking any steps backward anytime soon. Foxx as well shows his versatility, and while his character doesn't exactly speak to the power of the Presidency that we've come to expect from men such as Eckhart, Bill Pullman or Harrison Ford, he comes darned close, and even makes up for any weaknesses thanks to taking part in the action and an easy back-and-forth with Tatum. The cast is handily rounded out by government types (Maggie Gyllenhaal, Richard Jenkins, Lance Reddick) and villains (Clarke, Jimmi Simpson, James Woods), all of whom play cliched-enough parts but who are talented enough to overcome that deficit.

The one in the middle will have the best career.

But while the film focuses on Cale and Sawyer and they're attempts to evade capture, it's young Joey King who steals the spotlight. You might remember her wonderful appearance as the China Doll in the otherwise-uninspired Oz the Great and Powerful, and here the precocious kid becomes the pro-American heart of the movie. What could have been a throwaway part becomes arguably the strongest role in the entire film, and an actress who has had a slightly under-the-radar career the past decade is looking to perhaps be one of Hollywood's biggest stars by the end of the next. If 2013 is any indication (Oz, White House Down and soon The Conjuring), she's well on her way.

That's going to take time to clean up.

Beyond acting, though, there's plenty of action in White House Down, thanks especially to Emmerich's experience in blowing stuff up and the significantly larger budget he puts to use. There's no doubt that this film feels much smaller in scale to his past works (even his Shakespeare conspiracy Anonymous had an epic quality to it), but that doesn't mean things won't explode in spectacular fashion when those situations are called upon. Explosions are loud, gunfire is constant, vistas are gorgeous, and unlike the ultra-violent Fuqua film, you never get the feeling that the director is upping the violence just because he's going for shock value. There might be tons of unnecessary violence in this movie, but never is it dull or completely without reason (the opposite of Man of Steel). Emmerich is of course a master of this particular craft, and his movie ripples with aftershocks from every explosive moment, keeping the film moving forward and the audience members on the edge of their seats

Just don't get on his bad side.

And while the story itself is quite dry and predictable (partly because this has been done before, partly because patriotism won't allow certain events to occur in a Hollywood script), the script never overtly preaches its allegiances or stretches itself beyond it's capabilities. It's a simple a popcorn film that happens to take place at the White House, and places Tatum's career firmly on trajectory to emulate that of Bruce Willis in his heyday. It's a lot of fun, and if studios were smart they'd plug Tatum right back in the hole and build a franchise around this character, as there's plenty of growth to be had. It would be way more fun than a continuation of the Die Hard series, whose recent trip to Russia was a mission to forget. White House Down, meanwhile, is an excellent way to spend a couple of hours this Independence Day weekend, and I just wish I'd thought to tell you that yesterday.

Average JOE

It looked like GI Joe: Retaliation was doing all the right things when it was getting ready for release early last year. After the uneven mess that was 2009's GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, it was obvious that any sequels would have to make some massive changes to even come close to the success of its predecessor. Gone were director Stephen Sommers and most of the cast, including Rachel Nichols, Damon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccleston and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. In Sommers' place was the inspired choice of  John M. Chu, whose previous works included the dance-heavy Step Up sequels and the 3D concert title Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. While Channing Tatum was returning for the sequel, it was obvious to everybody that he was going to get offed quickly to help pave the way for newcomers D.J. Cotrona, Adrianne Palicki, Elodie Yung and established stars Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis. While the Joe franchise as a whole has seen better days, Retaliation looked to at least kick it up to minimum respectability when it was to come out last July.

Don't get used to that guy on the left...

But two things happened that caused studio Paramount Pictures to delay until this past weekend. The first was the rise to stardom of Tatum. When the first GI Joe was released, the actor was still feeling his way through movies, and as a result he was responsible for some of the most wooden, dry performances of the past decade. His performance in the 2009 tentpole flick was a prime example, and it was one of the worst parts of the whole experience. But in 2012, Tatum broke out. While I never saw it, The Vow cemented his status as a romantic icon, and his work in three other exciting projects that solidified his hold on Hollywood: the low budget action flick Haywire, the hilarious 21 Jump Street and the Chippendales drama Magic Mike. Suddenly, the knee-jerk choice to kill off former cornerstone Duke seemed like a dumb move, and while it couldn't be wiped completely, time was taken to add some extra Tatum content to the beginning of Retaliation.

I like Cobra Commander's look much more this time around.

The second event was the crash and burn of Battleship, a similar action movie that nobody except studio heads thought to take seriously. Most damning about this failed blockbuster was that it was one of the few modern action flicks in recent years to eschew 3D visuals completely. That not only contributed to its domestic disappointment (lower ticket prices), but hurt it in the international market, where 3D hasn't yet lost its sheen. Retaliation was originally set to be released with no 3D, but facing diminishing returns and facing direct competition from big-budget movies The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises (two of which were also 3D), the studio decided last-minute to utilize the technology to rectify that situation. Unfortunately, that meant waiting another eight months for a movie that was already on thin ice, hoping that perhaps Retaliation would be worth the wait.

Ninjas. Why did there have to be ninjas?

Talking place after the events of The Rise of Cobra, military organization GI Joe has maintained its position atop the worlds' covert military teams. But when the team is framed and then all but wiped out by their own government (under the orders of The President who is actually an enemy COBRA agent), the few survivors band together to try and uncover their plans. Roadblock (Johnson), Lady Jaye (Palicki) and Flint (Cotrona) are alone against the world, having to move between the shadows to avoid drawing attention to themselves. But even the best the Joes have to offer might not be enough when they are considered enemies of the state, and their own government has a weapon that threatens to topple the delicate balance of world power forever, and with endless destructive capability.

One of the coolest characters in both movies.

There is a lot more to like in Retaliation than there ever was in the first film, and you can't talk about what's right without pointing right at the special effects. Last time out, we were subjected to six SFX studios doing their best to out-disappoint one another, but here the effects shine as action sequences and explosions are much, MUCH prettier to take in. The fight scenes are not perfect (like most action directors, Chu keeps to camera WAY too close to the action), but for the most part they are effective enough, especially on the big IMAX screens. The sequence with ninjas rappelling across snow-covered mountaintops is especially exciting, though your mileage where ninjas are involved may vary. There are also some very good characters, from Johnson's charismatic leader Roadblock to the COBRA swordsman Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) to Palicki's covert operations expert Lady Jaye. At it's best, Retaliation does a better job of keeping your eyes glued to the screen than any action movie so far in 2013.

Obligatory "Team Success" strut.

But for every cool moment the movie throws out there, there are two or three smaller bits that will drive you crazy. The Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow (a returning and still silent Ray Park) storyline, which had been the albatross around the neck of the first film, is better but is still almost laughably separate from the rest of the movie. It takes its most ridiculous form in the sadly necessary exposition commentary by hip-hop artist/filmmaker RZA that is so bad it makes his performance in The Man with the Iron Fist look like Shakespeare's greatest hits. Other actors - most notably Yung, Cotrona and even Willis - have painfully little to do, as the story is so bloated with side-stories, unnecessary characters and plot twists that little things like "character development" and "plot progression" often take a backseat to the next action scene. It's sad when  you bring in such a celebrated action star as Bruce Willis just to have him sit on the sidelines and spit out unnecessary one-liners (and didn't the last Die Hard already do that?). And that shot of the rampant destruction of London? Arguably the most intense moment in the trailer? It lasts a grand total of ten seconds, and is never, EVER revisited once it's done.

Consider this Road Blocked.

Make no mistake; GI Joe: Retaliation is a HUGE step above The Rise of Cobra, and does a lot to redeem the film franchise from the damage done by its predecessor. But while it's undeniably more fun than the original, it's still a long way from being a truly self-sustaining movie franchise, most notably because only die-hard JOE fans really care all that much, and those are definitely dwindling in numbers. Still, while the film is way too dumb and implausible to be taken seriously, this is also a huge part of its undeniable charm. Will you like this movie? It entirely depends on how tolerable you are towards dumb action flicks loosely based on childrens' toy lines, because that's exactly what we have here. Expect anything more, and you'll be sorely disappointed.

Please Consult a Physician

So this is Steven Soderbergh's last film, huh?

Meh, I've seen better.

Don't take that as grim satisfaction, those of you who avoided Side Effects this past week purely based on the HORRIBLE trailer that made the rounds before its recent release in theaters. Despite the silliness and melodrama you might have thought would be the backbone of an overly exaggerated caution tale, Soderbergh's drug-popping thriller surpasses expectations and turns out to be much better than you might have initially imagined.

Soderbergh and screenwriter Scott Z. Burns (who penned the director's disease drama Contagion) decides to focus his efforts on the pharmaceutical industry in this claustrophobic drama about young New Yorker Emily Taylor (Rooney Mara), accused of a serious crime. The trick is that Emily was on medication for depression at the time of the incident and claims that she was sleepwalking (an effect of the drug) when she committed the deed. Soon the focus of the investigation turns to her psychologist, Dr. Jonathan Banks (Jude Law), who prescribed the medication to her. As Jonathan's private life rapidly falls apart over the fallout, he frantically obsesses over his search for the truth: is Emily a victim of his malpractice, or is something far more sinister going on?

Maybe she'll feel better. Maybe not...

Soderbergh reminds us once again why he's one of the more renowned directors in Hollywood by presenting us a film that is undeniably different from anything else out there while still appealing to our mainstream sensibilities. The first two thirds of the movie are taut with suspense, fraught with drama, and manage to maintain focus on his message. In that regard, it's positively terrifying to see into a world where prescription and nonprescription drugs are not only quickly handed out for any condition, but are in fact the subject of everyday conversations between the people of this universe, while we in the real world can only respond with: "Yeah, that actually happens." That's what makes Side Effects so... effective; the world and situations  presented to us could easily happen in real life. Emphasizing that point are excellent performances by Mara and Law (that's right, I'm praising a Jude Law performance). Mara, in the followup to her excellent portrayal of Lisbeth Salander in 2011's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, threads the needle of emotion in a role that requires a ton of flexibility to work. Mara might still look like she's still a teenager, but her maturity shines through brightly, and if anybody was paying attention they might be looking at this young woman as a future Oscar candidate. Law meanwhile manages to turn a typically smarmy performance to his benefit, toning it down and managing to play an effective protagonist and sympathetic character. Even Channing Tatum, who has a small but important role, carries his load admirably, continuing to show the improvement he's taken from his excellent 2012.

Same actor as Contagion; not so much of an ass.

But where Soderbergh and Burns put together an effective story for much of the film, it's the end game of Side Effects where they nearly drop the ball. While you can't deny the haunting twists and turns the screenplay takes, there's one thing the movie cannot avoid, and that's spoiling itself. When the climax finally comes around, not only is it plainly explained as though it were the blue of the sky, but it's largely PREDICTABLE. That's a huge letdown after the pair had been so effective at trickling out limited clues beforehand. Another disappointment? The casting of Catherine Zeta-Jones as a Emily's previous psychologist, Dr. Siebert. I'm not sure if the part was lazily written (I'm not ruling it out) or if the Academy Award-winning actress was simply miscast, but her eyebrow-raising (not in a good way) work was part of the reason I was able to sort-of predict the finale. Still, the director does an excellent technical job, and his ability behind the camera almost completely makes up for the few missteps he actually makes.

What a waste.

Between Soderbergh's excellent direction, the outstanding acting of his leads, and his easily-understood but still-terrifying look at the world of psychiatric medicine, Side Effects is a much better movie than you would ever expect. It does manage to become the #3 movie of 2013, though that's almost more a testament to quality of the competition as it is to the Hitchcock-like quality of Side Effects itself. Still, I don't doubt that this is a movie that will take you by surprise should you actually give it the time of day. This might be Soderbergh's last major motion picture, and while I wish he had gone out on a higher note (this is the man who brought us Erin Brockovich, Oceans 11 and Magic Mike, after all), it's not the worst place to end the journey, either. But while Steven Soderbergh will be likely be remembered for his unique style of storytelling and ability to make just about anything interesting, Side Effects seems destined to finish up in the "forgotten" pile.

A Kind of Magic

Of all the films I hoped I would like in 2012, I think I can safely say that I did not imagine going into a movie about male stripping and come away happy with what I had just witnessed. And yet Magic Mike had a lot going for it when it was released to theaters this past weekend. For one, the whole thing was directed by Steven Soderbergh and while I don't always get behind the man's movues, he certainly does solid work with interesting, unique ideas. The second reason I wanted to see this was star Channing Tatum, on whose early days as a stripper in Tampa the screenplay is partially based. For what feels like a long time I have criticized Tatum's largely wooden facial expressions and general lack of acting ability, as he has been allowed to get by mainly on his looks (or in the early Step Up films, his dancing). But this year has been a turning point for the young actor, whose performances in Soderbergh's under-appreciated Haywire and the amazingly funny 21 Jump Street showed a side of the star we hadn't really seen. He's quickly proving that he is more than just a fem-friendly beefcake, and Magic Mike seemed like the kind of film that pushes a man like Tatum to the next level of his career. I knew I'd likely be the only straight male in the theater (as it was a matinee, I turned out to be the only male, period), but I was ready to see something completely different at the cinema this week.

Yes, there is quite a bit of this going on.

And boy, do Tatum and company deliver. Our star plays the titular Magic Mike, a man of many hats. He runs several small businesses, but makes most of his money as a male stripper (I don't think the term "exotic dancer" is ever used; these guys know their job) at Xquisite, a popular club run by unscrupulous manager Dallas (Matthew McConaughey). But what Mike really wants to do, what he has been working hard to do for the past decade, is make custom furniture from broken and discarded items. He's been steadily saving his money, but so far has not been able to get the concept off the ground. When he meets Adam (Alex Pettyfer), a slacker with no idea what he wants in life, he takes the young man under his wing and introduces him to the business, which Adam gradually gets into despite the disapproval from his sister Brooke (Cody Horn). Xquisite's business is rapidly growing and Dallas is looking to change venues to the more populous and popular Miami. This excites most of the dancers, but Mike is slowly coming to the realization that he doesn't want to be a stripper his whole life, and is ready to settle down. But with the job being seriously lucrative and banks not lending him money to pursue his dreams, how can he possibly step away?

Yes, McConaughey actually dressed like that in the morning.

On one level, it would be easy to label this a movie for women and gay men and leave it at that. In fact, a lot of people believed just that, as ladies made up something like 75% of last weekend's box office for Magic Mike. When you have this much bared male flesh on the big screen, that's just going to happen. But underneath the rippling chests of guys like True Blood's Joe Manganiello or White Collar's Matt Bomer - not to mention the threat of cliched romantic comedy by Tatum and Horn - beats a story about brotherhood, of guys who do what they do to make money, meet women and have fun. Very little of the events depicted here are actually based on Tatum's experiences in the business, but Soderbergh I think does a good job of looking at the industry from multiple angles, from the highs (money, women) to the lows (drugs, dead-end prospects, damaged relationships) with an honest and nonjudgmental eye. Sure, most of the veteran strippers enjoy their jobs, but it's the transformation of Adam in which we see how much it can change a person over even a short period of time. The story makes for something of a cautionary tale, albeit not one nearly so preachy as you might expect.

Even the ladies get in on the skin-baring act.

Both the acting and dancing are top notch and excellently choreographed, and Soderbergh deserves credit for really putting a team of talented performers together and making Magic Mike a full package deal. Tatum continues his incredible run, oozing his usual charm but creating a clear separation in his personality between his civilian life and what he does for a job. Though it might be due to Tatum's experience, Mike might be his deepest and most resonating character to this point, and it is primarily his contributions that make this so much more than a chick flick. I didn't think Cody Horn had a whole lot to do, but Brooke's serious, no-nonsense attitude makes a nice foil for the more laid-back Mike and Adam. And yet she's not such a different or ignorant creature that a pairing between Mike and Brooke is impossible, which is good as the film forces the idea upon us whenever they share the screen.

All he's missing are the bongos...

As for the rest of the cast, most of them have little to do besides reside in states of near-undress, but at least there's a variation in what they bring to the table. I still think Alex Pettyfer is a far more a talented actor than he has been given credit, but lousy box office returns tend to sour you in the face of Hollywood execs. Still, his villainous turn in last year's In Time was the perfect example of lightning in in a bottle, and he continues that trend as a failed college athlete who lacks the drive or commitment to make it in the real world. His is no obvious transformation, but a subtle one that doesn't change the personality of his character, but exploits his already-prevalent weaknesses over the course of the script. In all, a brilliant turn. McConaughey doesn't bring anything new, but is perfectly cast for his southern drawl and ability to pull off a thong. Olivia Munn's topless scene should be all guys need to get into the theater, and her role as a psychology student who met Mike while studying the emotional stability of strippers isn't half bad, to boot. Finally, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer and Adam Rodriguez can be applauded for their additions to the cast, even if most of their character development seems to have been scrapped in favor of seriously excellent dance moves.

"Now remember, they have to reach into your pocket to get the candy."

Magic Mike is certainly no fluff piece. The stripping scenes might be outrageous, the romance might be a little forced, and the twists might be somewhat predictable, but this is the type of film that rides high on character and charm, both of which it has in spades. Tatum once again scores, and it would be great if his surprising 2012 could serve as a launching pad for the young man to achieve greater things. It's not often when I am wrong (and even less so when I admit it), but Tatum actually seems to be turning into something special, not just a pretty, unproven face. As far as Magic Mike goes, he MADE it, and if he continues to work with talented directors like Soderbergh and with choice casts like the one here, there's simply no limit to how far he can go.

Jump Around

"It's all about recycling shit from the past and expecting everyone not to notice."

No, that's not a copy/paste effort from one of my previous posts.
It's true, I've never been completely behind the idea that remakes or the recycling of ideas in Hollywood are a good idea. It's one thing when they take an idea that is still kicking around the entertainment industry (like Transformers, for example) in this day and age, but far too often the creative minds in Los Angeles are eager to dredge up the once-hit television wonders of yesteryear, itching to capitalize on our collective nostalgia for a big payday. Sadly, we as audiences perpetuate this problem when we allow our memories of old TV shows like Josie and the Pussycats, and Scooby Doo to dictate what we see in the theaters. Even if such films are ultimately unsuccessful, usually they earn just enough money at the box office to justify their expense. What are we telling this industry when more of us spent money to see Bewitched than did to see A Better Life?

What are they less believable as: teenagers or cops?

Of course, it's wrong to condemn an entire genre based on whatever inherent source material might have been used. There have actually been some good remakes on both film and television in the past decade, from the recent Star Trek reboot to Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy to the excellent Battlestar Galactica TV show from a few years back. Now you can add 21 Jump Street to that list. Originally airing in 1987, the television show on which this film is based was a serious drama focusing on young-looking cops going undercover at schools to investigate cases involving drugs, abuse, and other crimes. Running for four years, it provided a launching pad for star Johnny Depp, who would of course go on to star in Edward Scissorhands and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, among other popular films. The remake of this show is naturally an action comedy starring a cliched pairing of Hollywood heartthrob Channing Tatum and pudgy Academy Award nominee Jonah Hill. Looks like it would be all downhill from here, right?

Our heroes report to the Captain...

Well, not so fast. Sure, the story is a familiar one; inept police officers Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum) find themselves assigned to a restructured police operation on 21 Jump Street, an undercover unit that sends young-looking officers into schools to conduct their investigations. Tasked with infiltrating a drug ring at a local high school, the pair encounter difficulties when they realize that social circles do not revolve the same way they did when Schmidt and Jenko were in school. Jenko, a former jock and popular dude, finds himself an outcast, while Schmidt, who had gone through high school an unpopular geek, finds himself atop the school's "cool" list. The pair must overcome their weaknesses and work together to break open this illicit drug ring. If they play their cards right, the final outcome might be something they both missed in their first high school go-around: Senior Prom.

Somebody show Hill how to hold a gun!

Yes, it's obvious from my description and the film's trailer that a lot of stereotypes concerning police and high school are crammed in here, laying the groundwork for a "been there, done that" experience if placed the wrong hands. However, in the care of directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller (whose previous effort was the 3D animated Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs), 21 Jump Street is gleefully self-aware of its limitations, embracing them as the film's main basis for its story. For the most part, this method surprisingly works, successful not only in paying homage to the original TV show but also establishing this new film as great entertainment in its own right. The statement I quoted to begin this review is from the film itself, spoken by Captain Dickson (Ice Cube) in reference to the rebooting of the Jump Street program itself. Naturally, it's also a sly wink and nod to the audience about many of their expectations concerning remakes in general. This level of honesty is refreshing, and immediately places 21 Jump Street on a level appreciable to any audience member simply looking to have a good time.

He's gonna put his chrome to your dome... what does THAT mean?

Of course, all that audience appreciation doesn't mean a damned thing if you're not the least bit entertaining. Fortunately, what we have here is one of the funniest films in recent memory, with the humor ranging from hilariously physical to ingeniously clever. Even after he built his career on comedies such as Superbad and Get Him to the Greek, it's odd to admit that Jonah Hill has excellent comedic timing, turning any scene on its ear with a well-positioned quip. Meanwhile, Channing Tatum uses his good looks as a perfect setup for the excellently-delivered dumb jock jokes. Together they might seem like a cheaply-manufactured buddy cop comedy, but the script and the actors follow a lesson imparted by Captain Dickson: "Embrace your stereotypes." What at first appears to be an obvious trotting out of police procedural and buddy film formulas instead makes fun of those same cliches, to great effect. Of special note are scenes in which the heroes are under the effects of the drug they're supposed to be policing and an amazingly clever freeway car chase, both sequences as hilarious as they are unpredictable. And when the supporting cast features such talents as Rob Riggle as a school gym teacher and Brie Larson as a popular teen, it only adds to the quality of the script and humor.

Why yes, he DOES have a shot at a girl like her.

When I first saw the trailer for 21 Jump Street, I was sure that like many before it the film would be an awful jumble of stereotypes, cliches and bad humor on the way to being among the year's worst. The fifth time I saw the trailer, I found myself chuckling at the humor and thinking perhaps it wouldn't be too bad. After seeing it about ten times and in the face of positive reviews, I halfway considered this spending money for me and Todd to see it in the theater would not be a waste of a weekend. I certainly did not expect to laugh nonstop throughout, nor did I figure that 21 Jump Street would turn into my #1 film for 2012. It's still early, and no doubt some film will come along to knock this one off its precarious perch. But this was by far the best, most complete experience I've had at the movie theater this year. Whether or not you were a fan of the original television series, there's more here than mere homage. This is just pure entertainment, plain and simple.

The Ass-Kicking of 2012

The career of director Steven Soderbergh has been a strange one. After his debut film Sex Lies and Videotape made him a household name (and earned him the Palm D’Or at Cannes) back in 1989, Soderbergh went on to become one of the most popular directors of the modern era, with a filmography that includes Out of Sight, Erin Brockovich, Traffic, and the unimaginably successful Oceans trilogy. While some of his work is perhaps a bit overrated (the mediocre Contagion comes to mind), anyone should be able to appreciate the boundaries he attempts to breach with his filmmaking. That creativity of his has become more pronounced in recent years, as 2008’s Che was so long it had to be split into two parts for theatrical release, and he took an enormous chance in hiring then-active porn star Sasha Grey to headline his street-level look of humanity in The Girlfriend Experience. He’s even the director behind the Channing Tatum stripper biopic Magic Mike, due out later this year. But the most anticipated of his new films, at least in my eyes, has been the female-centric action film Haywire, starring former MMA fighter Gina Carano. Carano had been approached by Soderbergh to star in his new action film back in 2009, and as she had just lost a high-profile match to Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos and was looking to get out of the MMA spotlight, she took him up on the offer. It would not be her first film appearance (That would be the cult film Ring Girls), but this would be the first major motion picture to feature the potential action star out in front, where the world could see what so far only a few had actually witnessed of her abilities.

Gun play thankfully is kept to a minimum

Told in flashbacks, Haywire relates the story of how mercenary Mallory Kane (Carano) has come to be on the run from her former employers after they framed her for a crime she did not commit. The scion of a military family and a former marine in her own right, Mallory was the best agent the firm had, and was just about to take her earnings an move on to more relaxing climes. Now she must fight her way through a private army of goons, assassins and generally unlikable sorts to learn why she has been betrayed, and attempt to reclaim her old life by any means necessary.

Yes, our old friend (and Oscar snub) Fassbender is here...

There’s one important thing to remember when watching Haywire: if a character other than Mallory has an ass, it’s most likely going to get itself kicked. Soderbergh designed Mallory to be a versatile weapon of mass destruction, and Carano fills that gap admirably by beating up anybody that gets between her and victory. Mallory is also shown as being extremely dedicated, living by a moral code, incredibly intelligent and knowing exactly what she wants and how to get it. The only real flaw with Mallory is that she really HAS no flaws, with only the diminutive stature she brings against her larger, male opponents anything close to a weakness. Seeing her in action, it’s apparent that slight edge doesn’t last long, and as one character advises another, thinking of Mallory (or Carano, for that matter) as just a woman “would be a mistake.” With amazing camera work, Soderbergh captures elements both beautiful and ugly in the fight scenes, moving between graceful athleticism and brute force whenever necessary. There are precious few action heroines in the business, and Carano’s addition is one not to be taken lightly, even for a moment.

Turning an Uzi into a blowtorch in six easy steps...

Speaking of Miss Carano, I would have settled for her performance to be dry, dull, and propped up by the more experienced names on the cast list. I honestly wasn't sure an untrained actress would be able to carry such a burden on her first major attempt, and figured that the reason Soderbergh surrounded her with such talent was to offset her own limitations. Silly me. Carano, while not always perfect, still manages to do a whole lot correctly, turning Mallory from a potential black hole of personality into an real life character, one with all the strengths I listed earlier. I don't doubt that the offers will start rolling in, and Carano will amass a decent film career thanks to this amazing start. That said, her supporting cast slouches only slightly, and while not everyone is worth their weight in gold, they do enough to help propel the story forward. Ewan McGregor is smarmy and sly in the main antagonist role, a reversal put to good effect in the case of his usually charming demeanor. In small roles, Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum and Bill Paxton do their share of adding to the film when need be. And Michael Douglas chews the appropriate amount of scenery as a government suit. Despite a sagging Antonio Banderas, this is a well-acted film with deep characters and believable interactions, and is as great as it is thanks to Carano being able to carry it on her shoulders for most of the time.

Guess who'll win this one

Despite a well-told and fast-paced tale, a few details still manage to go missing, and some leaps in the film's logic aren't always cleanly explained when they are. Regardless, Haywire should be considered a success both in the final product and in the casting of Carano in a leading role. What the MMA hoarded for four years is finally out of the box, and I'll be sorely disappointed if this talented young woman doesn't go from being the "Face of Women's MMA" to the face on movie posters across the nation. There are a few female action stars in Hollywood right now, but I have little doubt that this woman has the strength, charisma and determination to best them all. At least for now, she stars in the #1 film of 2012.

The Empire Strikes Back

You might recall back in November, I reviewed an independent film from Descent director Neil Marshall called Centurion. The film followed a band of lost Roman soldiers being chased from Pict tribes in what is now known as the Great Britain, the edge of the known world at the time. At the review's end, I predicted that the wide-release and extremely similar Hollywood film The Eagle, when it was to be released, would be nowhere close to the quality of Marshall's film, despite director Kevin Macdonald being a more renowned director (winning an Academy Award for his 2000 documentary One Day in September). The film not only takes places around the same time as Centurion, but also uses the fabled disappearance of Rome's Ninth Legion as its main plot device. In this, it is far from the first. In fact, the Lost Ninth has been the focus of many books and films, not the least of which is the 1954 novel The Eagle of the Ninth, on which the film I'm reviewing today is officially based.With the lack of viable film releases in recent weeks and harboring no desire to be depressed into next month (sorry, Biutiful, I'll get to you soon), I decided this last Saturday to take in the historically-inaccurate action film. I certainly did not expect much from The Eagle, but I was at least hoping it would surpass my limited expectations and make for an enjoyable if brainless activity.

Marcus's secret attack - The Smolder

The film begins with the arrival of Marcus Flavius Aquila (Channing Tatum) in Roman-occupied Britain approximately twenty years after the legion led by his father - you guessed it, the Ninth - disappeared in the wilderness of the north, never to be seen again. Since then, Emperor Hadrian ordered the building of what is known today as Hadrian's Wall, with the intent of keeping the barbaric tribes outside of Rome's control from attacking "civilized" folk. After serving briefly as a Roman Centurion, Marcus hears rumors of the lost legion's standard, a gold eagle statuette, seen north of the wall. Intent on recovering the symbol of Rome and restoring his family's honor, he heads into the unknown world with only the Scottish slave Esca (Jamie Bell) as escort. Together, they search for the item and honor, facing the dangers of Britain's northern lands every step of the way.

Yes, I'm stealing this line from Airplane: "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

Kevin Macdonald made some interesting, perplexing decisions in making the film. The most obvious was his casting Americans as the conqueror Romans. Normally in film, when you have an over-lording empire, whether it be the Romans or the Sith, your average casting job in these instances calls for lots and lots of British actors. Besides the obvious talent pool you have from filming in Europe, it simply feels more authentic when your empire soldiers speak with a clipped British accent. I know that doesn't make a ton of sense, what with English not being even close to being a language at a time and Britain in fact not even being officially on the same LAND MASS as the city of Rome. But, for me at least, the British accent makes it feel more familiar and acceptable. American voices in comparison just sound so... UNREFINED. Even talented actors like those of Donald Sutherland (yes, I know he's Canadian) simply don't seem to belong in these roles, and they represent the upper echelon of acting talent. In an early scene basically spelling out the pretense of the film, Macdonald managed to secure some of the worst vocal talents this side of a Limp Bizkit concert to set up the film's tale. I mean... I GET IT. You use Americans to represent this country's history as a conquering nation, using Picts and Gauls to represent Native Americans. I can understand that just fine. What I can't forgive is the ham-handedness with which this was carried out, culminating in a first third of a film that just doesn't feel very well put together.

Yes, that will probably hurt

Another unfortunate decision was to make the film PG-13. There are numerous fights that occur through the course of the story, and if this had been a more ambitious film, it would have upped the blood and gore conspicuously absent from the film. It certainly didn't need to be as bloody as Centurion (which made a point of dismembering each representative limb at least TWICE during the length of the film) but the surprisingly bloodless battles and just-off-screen violence make The Eagle feel lifeless and dull in even these instances and practically begs for an "unrated" DVD release. There are some acts (including the murder of a small child) that would easily have knocked the film's rating up to R had it just been slightly more in the frame. This can only be seen as cowardice on the part of the filmmakers, perhaps worried that their film would not reach a prospective audience with an R rating.

What's hidden is that not one of them is wearing pants

As for historical accuracy, Macdonald had said he wanted to be as accurate as possible, but when you're dealing with a disputed legend and ancient tribes for which little is known, there's not a whole lot to work with. The best you can do is nail down the Romans, and for all intents and purposes, the director seems to at least pull that off. Of course, the only major detail they focus on - and of course they make SURE you notice it too - is the fact that the Roman helmet apparently left a distinctive (and convenient) welt under your chin. I guess I can't be too disappointed, since the film is based on a novel written for children, not any actual historical tale. Most historical analysts won't be paying much attention to this film anyway, I suspect.

Joey REALLY liked gladiator movies

The acting left a lot to be desired, though much can be attributed to a lazily-woven script rather than unambitious acting. I thought Tatum was actually much better here than than he had been in GI Joe, though any who remember that particular film know that's not saying much. At times his natural charm shines through, but at others he's still wooden and uninteresting. He's certainly got the looks to be a star; now he just needs his acting talents to rise to that same level. Jamie Bell suffers from the flaw of his first film role being the most memorable; he might likely never reach the level of success predicted for him after Billy Elliot made him an overnight sensation. Since that time he's mainly played supporting roles in big movies, and his future as a top-billed performer probably will be determined by how well his role is received in this year's Tintin movie. Still, he's the best part of this film, instilling heart into young Esca, with the audience never knowing for sure where the slave's loyalties lie. Donald Sutherland is as I have said a talented performer, but he has pretty much resorted to slumming it up in lesser films like this, chewing scenery long enough to get the story underway. I guess now that he has his official star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, he feels he can stop doing the good jobs and just go for a paycheck. Well, I guess I can't blame him for that. Mark Strong (Seriously? Seems like he's in everything lately) appears as a tribesman who knows where the Eagle is, and does a fine enough job with it. And French actor Tahar Rahim puts forth a very convincing portrayal as another tribe's prince and the film's main antagonist. His performance is possibly the most consistent in the whole movie, with the only exception being Bell's.

Apparently gift horses come in all shapes and sizes

As I stated before, I didn't have high hopes for The Eagle going in. I hate to keep comparing it to Centurion, but when Neil Marshall takes the same topic and runs with it, it just comes out BETTER on all counts. The Eagle barely stands on its own feet however, and while you can plainly see Macdonald trying to make this scrap heap of broken parts into a piece of art, it too often reverts to overly-simplistic storytelling, marginally average acting, and a poorly-written story that doesn't make you care one whit about what's happening on the screen. And don't get me started on the positively stupid ending. I'm sure I'll see worse before year's end, but since I've only seen three 2011 films, The Eagle coming in at #4 just doesn't seem to do justice to how poor I though it turned out. With March looking like a packed house of interesting titles, I'm sure this film will be out of the Top 10 before too long, I'm just not sure how long I can wait for that.

Oh, No Joe!

So it was a slow movie week for The Latest Issue. Tired, lazy, and with mediocre weather waiting outside for me, I decided to spend the day in the apartment, where I slowly went stir crazy for want of things to keep my interest. It was with this mindset that i decided that watching GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra on Netflix streaming was in fact a good idea, especially since the hype for last year's blockbuster hit did draw me in somewhat, if not enough to see it in the theaters.

Baroness is as deadly as she is seductive

Let me say first that I'm no GI Joe fan. I never had the toys as a kid, never followed the shows or comics, don't know much about the characters. I simply didn't grow up with them in my life, although I did know several kids who did and you could say I know what little I know about the toy line from them. I was more of a fan of other big 80's toy franchises: TMNT, Ghostbusters and Transformers were more up my alley. While Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and the Baroness may be iconic characters to many, that simply is not the case for me. Perhaps that's why I thought I'd like Joe, since the expectations of the franchise's fans would not necessarily affect me in the same way it would others. Contented that I could not be disappointed in the film because my expectations were not high, I laid down on the couch for what I knew to be a mindless film but determined to see it through.

I should have set my expectations lower.

Oh, you two are fighting again SNORE

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a jumbled mish-mash of character interactions wrapped around a terribly cliched plot involving experimental warheads created by James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston), a weapons dealer whose family historically tended to sell to both sides in armed conflicts. Naturally, of course, when this charismatic weapons dealer makes some warheads for the US that use nanotechnology to strip molecule by molecule whatever it comes in contact with, the military wants it and these weapons become the central plot point of the story, as soon they're stolen from us by the terrorist group COBRA, who intend world domination. The only ones who can stand in their way? A covert, multinational military force known only as GI Joe.

Rachel Nichol's direction: "Look attractive!"

I won't go on too much about the story since just thinking about Joe's simplistic plot starves my brain, but after being rescued by Joe after their convoy carrying the warheads is attacked by a COBRA unit, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are recruited into the Joe program by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid) since Duke recognized and could supply information on the leader of the assault, the Baroness (Sienna Miller). The rest of the film has the two opponents fighting one another while decked out in form-fitting leather outfits while Ripcord puts out the occasional one-liner. Heavy Duty, indeed. The plot is a retread of better action films, but the filmmakers are hoping you're too entranced by the classic Joe characters that you'll hardly notice how an elite unit like Joe could be staffed for the most part by nameless cannon fodder easily taken out by a small COBRA strike team. It's plot holes like that that cause wrecks to form.

Poor Breaker, nobody loves you!

While acting is hardly the main focus on films such as this, you still want talented performers doing their jobs well. Tatum was one of the considerations to play the hero in 2011's Captain America film, and I can now see why - despite having the right look for the part - he wasn't offered the job. While perhaps not as wooden as some reviewers might think him, he certainly doesn't show the charm and talent required in your leading man. His Duke is supposed to be the ultimate hero of the tale, but we just keep wishing it had been someone else. If Miller did nothing more than look amazing with black hair, a leather catsuit and dual-wielding pistols, I frankly would have been just fine. Thankfully she does more than that, weaving a cruel and vindictive character that is unfortunately ruined by the script's story. Still, she correctly portrays the type of villain the Baroness was meant to be, when she is allowed to do so. Eccleston is both charismatic and sinister as the man who would be Destro. The actor, who's biggest role to this date is that of The Doctor in the first season of Syfy's Doctor Who, doesn't seem to be stretched too much in his performance. It's almost as if the role was written with him in mind, rather than him necessarily earning the part. Wayans can be a talented actor, don't get me wrong. His role in Requiem for a Dream opened a lot of people's eyes to his potential as a performer. He always picks the same parts in the same type of films, however: silly sidekick who can back up his talk. Typical Wayans role. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje left Lost because he didn't like the material but ended up making Joe instead as Heavy Duty. He basically plays the character most dismissive of the new blood, Duke and Ripcord. Yeah, that ain't a step up. Better is Rachel Nichols as Scarlet, though she does little more than play up her looks than display anything worthwhile character-wise. Storm Shadow (Byung-Hun Lee) and Snake-Eyes (Ray Park) are explored far too much as the director decided that they needed an epic flashback backstory to explain to the audience why they hate each other so much. Park is the kind of performer Hollywood calls on when they need a physical actor who says little to nothing in dialogue and must express himself in his actions, and Park does more of that here. Lee talks more, but for all the interest we invest in his character it doesn't come out to much, and by the end we're sick to death of their feud. Quaid actually has a pretty small role as General Hawk, he just appears every few minutes, for a few minutes, until the end of the movie.Anyone else is either passable or not worth mentioning.

A few other Joes make appearances: This is Cover Girl... COVER GIRL???

All of this might have been forgivable if the film had at least top-notch special effects, but it seems like even that was out of reach for a $150 million film. Though six special effects studios worked on the film, none were especially good, with the worst resulting in obvious CGI outdoor scenes involving futuristic airships or other paraphernalia. Though the scene of the missile attack on the Eiffel Tower is gorgeously-rendered, this example is the exception, not the rule. Fight scenes are also sub-par, with only an early Scarlet-Baroness fight resembling anything remotely entertaining, and anything involving Storm Shadow and Snake-Eyes droning on more of the same. Far too much of the action is shot so close that you can't tell what's happening on the screen. And when you add all this on to the fact that the film has very little in the realm of original thought (inventive character origins don't count), there just simply isn't anything to recommend this film to anyone besides die hard Joe fans, and even many of THEM would be upset by the fact that many of their favorite heroes didn't make the shortlist for the team's roster.

Storm Shadow or the Baroness: Who will get voted off the island?

Okay, I made a mistake. GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is fun for about as long as it takes you to realize that the film has bad special effects, bad directing (Stephen Sommers' previous projects included The Mummy and Van Helsing, hsssssss), poor acting and lousy character development, with mediocre special effects and an ending that both tidys up things too much AND leaves too much leeway for a sequel (explain THAT one), one expected in the next year or so. I won't see that one in the theater either, though the fact that the screenwriters from Zombieland (which I loved) have been brought in to pen the next chapter makes me at least slightly hopeful. I may not be a GI Joe fan, but I am a movie fan, and when movies this bad are made it hurts, especially when I feel I could have spent that time watching something infinitely more worthwhile.