Everybody's Still Kung-Fu Fighting

Okay, today's post SHOULD have been about the new Woody Allen film Midnight in Paris, starring Owen Wilson as a man who falls in love with the French capital. It's been critically hailed as Allen's best directorial effort in years. So how did I go from that to seeing Kung Fu Panda 2? Sigh. I really have nobody to blame but myself. On Tuesday, when I had the choice of seeing either Paris or The Tree of Life, I chose the latter. My reasoning was that Allen's film had been enjoying some success; with Tree likely relegated to the limited release and indie theater circuit for the time being, and Paris getting more or less a wide release treatment, there was a better chance of Tree's showings winding down quickly, while Paris would get a little more time in the spotlight. So I decided to drag myself through Tree, thinking full well that a viewing of Midnight in Paris would be readily available only two days later, which was the next time I'd get the chance to head in town to the theater.

Whoops.

Turns out that in only two days everything changed. With my daily schedule only allowing me to see something in the mornings, I was upset to discover that the theater, which had been showing daily matinees of Midnight in Paris for the past couple of weeks, had NO morning showings on this particular Thursday. Dammit. So I was left with a conundrum. No backup plan, no interest in the latest rentals (heck, I saw most of them in the theater anyway), and very few options. Well, I did have one BIG option, but there was a reason I had been avoiding it. When the original Kung Fu Panda came out in June of 2008, it was critically acclaimed and exceeded all expectations when it came to the box office. It even broke box office records in China, becoming the first American-produced film to make over 100 million Yuan. Yet I ignored the film when it came out for two reasons; one, it looked like a kid movie, and not one that adults could really get into as well; the second reason is that I've never been a big fan of Jack Black, and anything featuring him in more than a supporting role I usually can write off completely. Still, an awards pedigree (the original was nominated for both the Golden Globe and Academy Award) plus a lack of real alternatives forced my hand, and for the second time this year (the first was Rango) I ventured into a theater where the median audience member age was less than would be legal to consume alcohol in Massachusetts.

Oh, that panda! He's so CRAZY!

The film begins with an opening montage that describes the backstory for the film's villain, Lord Shen (Gary Oldman). Shen, an heir to the throne who was exiled due to some shockingly not-for-kids genocidal acts committed in the quest for power, has returned to his family's throne bearing a new weapon, one that threatens to destroy all of Kung Fu. Meanwhile, Dragon Warrior Po (Black) and his allies the Furious Five are asked to investigate the death of one of the greatest martial arts masters, and Shen and his secret weapon may be somehow involved. Additionally, Po learns that the goose Mr. Ping (James Hong) is not his biological father and searches for the answer to who he really is and who his parents were.

Semblematic to the amount of plot they tried to cram in there

It's this last part that actually generates the most interest for this film. While it was odd enough to think that a goose would have a panda son in the first film, this idea was mostly ignored, with the anthropomorphic element so in play that the question didn't even follow. With the revelation that Po was discovered and adopted, the story turns in parts to Po's identity and where he comes from, a sweet and subtle story that has him remembering bits and pieces of his childhood before he ended up in his adopted father's care, and seeking his original family out. While adoption stories are not infrequent plot threads, the execution here is one of the few shows of perfection the film possesses.

Yeah, yeah, we get it. The panda is crazy.

With that exception however, the rest of the film proves to be almost an almost complete mediocrity. Although there is one inventive fight scene early on that has the heroes battling in a village of musicians (and has some of the background music performed by a direct result of the action), much of the settings and story feel unoriginal and uninspired. The setup for the story is rushed and without surprise, and the whole thing would have benefited if we HADN'T been told the entire backstory up front. Even worse, the jokes fall flat, and most of the film slips between unfunny comedy and too-serious drama. Tack on less than spectacular visuals and you don't come up with a very entertained viewer.

About to take this franchise behind the shed to hide it from the children

One of the worst things an animated feature film can do is load itself down with celebrity voices, because hey, who cares if they'll never actually see the actors on screen? Sure, you can argue that you're getting the best people for the job by hiring Hollywood's elite, but your argument goes down the tubes when that "elite" talent does very little over the course of the film. Black is better than expected in a leading role, with Po easily being one of his deepest performances while still allowing him to retain his usual brand of laid-back enjoyment. And Gary Oldman is wonderfully malicious as Lord Shen, his presence perfectly voiced for the role. It's the rest of the cast that is either misused or overpaid, as Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, David Cross, Seth Rogen, and Dustin Hoffman having little to no character development, meaningless and unfunny dialogue, and more or less being paid top dollar for replacement level jobs. Michelle Yeoh, Danny McBride, Dennis Haysbert and Jean-Claude Van Damme are other big names brought in whose talents are unrecognizable on screen and therefore unnecessary. Essentially it's money thrown out the window, and doesn't do the film any favors.

Those pesky Jehovah's Witnesses never learn...

Despite authentic appreciation for ancient Chinese customs and kung fu action films, there's not a whole lot to invest yourself in when it comes to Kung Fu Panda 2. Cheesy and unfunny dialogue and an average story mean that your first impression upon seeing trailers for this film were most likely spot on. Kids might get some fun out of it, thanks to second-grade physical humor, but rationally-thinking adults would probably be better off with a good book. Unless your children are begging, skip it.

Version 2.0

Today's review is for Barney's Version, based on the 1997 Mordecai Richler novel and starring 2011 Golden Globe winner Paul Giamatti. It would be fair to say that Giamatti's nomination for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical was the main reason I wanted to see this film. A trailer seen not long after those nominations cemented it as a film of interest. Sadly, movies of this ilk tend to keep holding patterns active in limited release and wait until the Oscars are announced before making the final push for box office success. Sometimes this works, as films like Black Swan and The King's Speech made a lot of money in limited release before Oscar nominations and wide release. Sometimes, however, this backfires when a film garners no major nominations and pretty much missed their chance at the big payday. Barney's Version is the perfect example, as here was a chance to really push Paul Giamatti as a major acting force left instead in a gutter by the wayside. But that has to do with marketing and number crunching, which isn't my forte. So how does this title stand up as a film in its own right?

Challenging the idea that one can't look TOO Jewish

The film tells the life story of Barney Panofsky (Giamatti), from his youth as a layabout in Italy through the marriages to his three ex-wives (played by Rosamund Pike, Minnie Driver and Rachelle LeFevre), the disappearance and presumed death of his chemically-addicted best friend Boogie (Scott Speedman), and to the present day, where he recounts all this in the wake of his latest divorce and continued accusations of responsibility for Boogie's death by the detective who originally accused him. The story is presented from Barney's version of the facts (hence the title), and Barney himself is an uncomplicated character, making motions through life until he meets his true, and then does everything he can to keep her with him.

"I'm so high...look at my thumb! Weird..."

I've never read the book by Richler, so while I can't say I was a big fan of the film's story as a whole, I can't be sure if this is a problem inherent in the novel or simply in the transposing of the tale to the big screen. Barney's Version can't seem to decide what kind of movie it is. The film goes from being a coming-of-age tale to a romantic comedy, dabbling in buddy films and gross-out humor, and managing to incorporate a murder mystery between the margins as well. This is unfortunate because with such a jumbled storyline it's difficult to get a gauge on what we're supposed to be feeling towards the characters, especially Barney, who appears to go to and fro along the sympathy scale without any clear destination. This might not sound bad to those reading this, but trust me when I say that I'm sure this works much better in a four-hundred page book than a 132-minute movie. Also of some concern was the film's makeup, which garnered an Oscar nom but nevertheless couldn't make Giamatti look the same age as his cohorts at any given time. I suppose they deserve credit for getting CLOSE enough.

May it last longer than the first two

The performances, however, are what make the film as good as it is. Giamatti especially makes it onto a very long list of lead actors who SHOULD have been nominated for Best Actor at this year's Oscars but didn't make the cut of final five (talk about a category that could benefit from expanding to ten nominees). Though his character goes through a few periods where the audience would be fully forgiven for thinking him a complete and utter douchebag, Barney is more often than not a good man who falls in love, loses and gains friends and enemies, and undergoes a life transformation over the course of, well, his life. Often he's the main reason I kept my eyes on the screen, and for much of the film qualifies as it's savior. Rosamund Pike is also charming as Barney's third wife Miriam, who is the love of Barney's life, the one and only. Though you can't escape that Pike looks years younger than Giamatti at all points during the film (she's only two years older than ME, folks), their relationship is shown in a very realistic manner, and Giamatti can't take all the credit for that. While Pike is forced to work under a lot of aging make-up during the film's run, she still manages to convey a different type of heart than we've seen from her before. Not to be outdone are the first two wives, played by Lefevre and Driver. Lefevre, whose biggest role to date was the role of Victoria in the first two Twilight films (and lost that role in the third by committing to this one), takes a small role and makes it hers as the snotty young woman Barney knocked up to become his first wife. Driver's career prime may not have been as high as some hoped or expected, but she's still delightful here as his shrill, overly-emotional second. Scott Speedman puts on one of the better performances I've seen from him as Barney's talented but troubled best friend, and Mark Addy makes a nice turn as a hard-nose detective sure Barney is guilty of murder. Last and unfortunately least is Dustin Hoffman as Barney's ex-cop father. Hoffman is in his "Focker" phase, with the cliche Jewish persona in full effect. He's not BAD, per se, he's simply played this role far too long and far too often, and it shows. While he still cranks out the occasional award-nominated roles, this isn't one of them.

Is the makeup making him look older or younger? I can't tell

There were times where I really wanted to get up and walk out of the theater. There were times I was sure I was seeing a masterpiece. Unfortunately, these were parts of the same film. While Giamatti deserves every great attemtion for his role in Barney's Version, the movie itself is mainly blah. It ties up every loose end with an annoying lack of subtlety, and while the ending gets up there in the "masterpiece" rating, it doesn't make up for the rest of the film not getting the job done. Not a great movie, by any stretch, but I'd recommend it just to see Giamatti and crew exchange good dialogue over the decades.