The Bad Sci-Fi Movie

Sometimes, when it comes to what I want to see in the theater (and when it is an option), the Bad Sci-Fi Movie will win out.

It happens more often than you'd think. You haven't been to the theater in a while, and you're conflicted about what you want to see. There's also no shortage of new material to take in. The slapstick comedy? The 3D re-release of an Oscar-winning film? The sequel from a trilogy from so long ago you've forgotten many of the franchise's details? The horror spoof? Well, okay, that might have won out, were I not to see it with Todd the next day. When you go to the movies as often as I do, you get used to seeing most of what is on the big screen by yourself. And the benefit of the Bad Sci-Fi Movie is... nobody you know wanted to see it with you anyway. That was certainly the case with Lockout, the latest action film produced by French filmmaker Luc Besson. Everything about this film, from the cheesy special effects to the snarky dialogue, screamed of cheap science fiction schlock. While that would (and did) turn off most moviegoers, it didn't stop me from purchasing a ticket to this show last week. After all, sometimes a silly, laughably bad sci-fi film is exactly what one needs to get back into the swing of things.

Guy Pearce: you're new action hero?

Guy Pearce stars as a former CIA agent named Snow, wrongfully convicted of murdering another agent and sentenced to imprisonment in MS One, a prison in Earth's orbit that is relegated for the world's worst and most dangerous criminals. However, before he can be transferred, a massive breakout occurs on the station, trapping a number of hostages with an army of murderers, rapists and psychopaths. Among the hostages is Emilie Warnock (Lost and Taken's Maggie Grace), social worker and daughter of the US President. Sending the marines in to save all the hostages is deemed impossible, but the Secret Service argues that sending one man in to rescue Emilie is possible, and tap Snow for the mission. Hours later, he finds himself attempting to break into the world's most impenetrable prison. With no support, few weapons and little chance of success, Snow attempts to complete his mission while searching for a way to clear his name at the same time.

"Now, am I going to have to shoot you or will you eat your snack like a big girl?"

Let's face it, the only reason I really wanted to see this film was Guy Pearce. Pearce is one of those actors where you look at his career and wonder where it all went wrong. Not that he hasn't enjoyed a decent run, starring in The Adventures of Priscilla; Queen of the Desert, L.A. Confidential, and Momento, and carrying supporting roles in The Hurt Locker, The Road, Animal Kingdom, and The King's Speech. He even has a role in what is likely my most anticipated film this year, Ridley Scott's Prometheus. Yet I witness his monumental talent and have to wonder: why isn't this guy a big Hollywood star? He's certainly got the chops to make it as a leading actor, certainly more than many of Hollywood's imports over the years. Yet every time it seems he's about to break out, he vanishes into indie and Australian cinema, where the films barely contain his seemingly limitless potential. Here he does a nearly perfect job playing with anti-hero Hollywood persona, made popular over the years in the characters of Snake Plissken, Max Rockatansky, Tyler Durden and Dominic Toretto. Snow would be in some fine company would the script have been better; written by Besson and directors Stephen St. Leger and James Mather, the screenplay gives Snow plenty of funny one-liners and clever dialogue, but rarely does it  actually let him engage in anything resembling normal conversation.

Milk: it does a paranoid schizophrenic's body good!

The rest of the actors are a mixed bag, bringing in some talent but ultimately failing to capitalize on it. Maggie Grace is NOT a great actress. She's not even a particularly good one. Here she shows no difference in her delivery, tone or facial expressions since her time on Lost, and she left that show way back in 2005. As the daughter of the President, Emilie undergoes a journey on the station that would physically and psychologically change the character for most actresses, but not Maggie, who remains defiantly the same throughout. It's not that she's a BAD actress, just an incredibly vanilla one, unable to play more than bit, samey roles. Better are the main bad guys, especially Joseph Gilgun as a psychotic murderer who stalks Emilie throughout the station. Gilgun has not had much exposure in the world of cinema, but the depth of his performance knows no limits, even if you can't always understand what he's actually saying. Also good are Vincent Regan as the leader of the prison revolt and Peter Stormare as the head of the US Secret Service. Lennie James is one of my favorite discoveries of the past few years; the British actor has appeared in a number of film and TV shows as a strong supporting actor and filler, but has never broken out as a star himself. The same holds true here, and you can't help but wish there was more for this talented performer to do.

Smoking: still not as fatal as gunshot trauma.

If you were in theaters some months ago, you might have seen a "making of" preview for Lockout, discussing how the film came to be. One of the filmmakers - Besson perhaps - comments that the company designing the special effects was built specifically for the film. I remember turning to my family (we were seeing The Descendants at the time) and commenting that the reason for that was that they couldn't afford any of the big boys to do it for them. Four months have passed and I certainly don't feel that I've been proven wrong. While, like Grace's performance, the special effects were not too bad, the limitations are immediately visible to anybody with moderately healthy vision. The scenes in space look especially fake, and it's terribly obvious when wire work and CGI are in use. Lockout does make a lot work through sheer workmanship, but never does it feel like anything more than a cheap B-movie posing as though it were a blockbuster.

Pip pip! Tea time!

Even if Lockout is not a great film, I would love to see an expansion on the character of Snow, as a series starring the foul-mouthed, snarky anti-hero would make for a great series of moderately-budgeted action flicks in the vein of Richard B. Riddick or Mad Max. This film however was a wash, with too much in the poor script, mediocre effects and amateurish directing (the only other film directed by Mather and Leger is the short film Prey Alone, which looks to have the same overall budget as Lockout) dragging down what could have been at the least an interesting effort. There's a reason we call it the Bad Sci-Fi Movie, and Lockout lives up to a low threshold by at least being marginally entertaining while at the same time shallow as a mud puddle. The best part? You can safely watch this on DVD in a few months and lose none of the effect of seeing it on the big screen. In fact, skip the theatrical run entirely; there will be better Bad Sci-Fi Movies to waste your money on later.

Latin Fever

Sometimes you see a trailer so flawed, so flush with derivative story and character, awash in wanton violence and sexual innuendo, that you can tell it is not a film worth spending your time or money on. 90% of the time that is true. On the other hand, sometimes you see a trailer with those same qualities, and despite knowing that the movie will have its issues, you still can't wait for it to come out in theaters so you can catch it yourself. That tangible difference between them may be slight, but for some reason most titles in that vein are nigh unwatchable, while Colombiana intrigued me to the point where I couldn't see myself NOT watching it. As if featuring a kick-ass Zoe Saldana in a role similar to La Femme Nikita was not enough, the film was produced by Luc Besson, who if nothing else knows how to make interesting looking movies. Colombiana caught a lot of flak for its portrayal of a lawless Colombia and the organized crime that infests it, but none of that had any bearing on my wanting to see it. If anything, it was Saldana who is guilty of that, as the star has taken her career to another level the past few years with starring turns in Star Trek, Avatar, and even last year's The Losers even if not enough people watched it. She was the primary (if not only) reason to see Colombiana in the theaters, as achieving a leading role is an even bigger step forward than this particular talent has taken so far.

First rule for dating Zoe: Don't get on her bad side

After her parents are murdered by Colombian drug lord Don Luis (Benito Benites) and his right hand man Marco (Jordi Molla) at nine years of age, Cataleya (Saldana) escapes to America where her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis) takes her in and eventually trains her to become a lethal assassin. Twenty years later, Cataleya is one of the world's deadliest women, and her attention has shifted to flushing out the men responsible for taking her family away, while balancing that with the facade of a "normal" life and her romantic involvement with artist Danny (Michael Vartan). Soon, the FBI, CIA and Don Luis are all after Cataleya, and she must use every weapon in her arsenal just to survive, if not escape her life completely.

Some people take peeping into toilets to a whole other level

As you can tell by the actors I mentioned above, there's hardly anyone of note beyond Saldana in the cast notes. While several of them are indeed talented performers and character actors, only Saldana could be considered a star, not surprising considering the heavy Latin American casting needed to make this film. It's only recently that Latin American performers have been successful in more mainstream roles, as in the past they've had to settle small, stereotypical parts or "genre" flicks with no widespread appeal. Michael Pena is one actor who has vaulted that barrier, as is Saldana, who is captivating in every scene she enters in Colombiana. Since that's almost the entire film, she had to be on for every moment, and she emotes sexuality, intensity and intelligence perfectly. She had some help from the filmmakers, as one scene with her sucking on a lollypop while performing maintenance on a firearm elegantly captures the dichotomy of her innocent childhood with her murderous adult life, but it is mostly her ability to become this dangerous character that makes her so valuable to the film in question. Running a close second is British actor Lennie James, the guy we all wanted to see more of after the series premiere of The Walking Dead. As an FBI agent tracking Cataleya's murders, James is a good alternate to leading the scenes which Saldana herself can't be part of. Cliff Curtis is also solid as Cataleya's uncle, a professional hitman who at times regrets introducing her to this life. Curtis has put up good performances in recent films Push and Sunshine, and I always like seeing him on the big screen. Michael Vartan thankfully doesn't have as much of an impact on the story as he could have; he's fine as an actor but the romance angle was overcooked from the start and predictable in its execution. Molla and Benites are campy villains, more dangerous in their off-screen doings than in anything we actually see ourselves. Most impressive on the cast might be Amandla Stenberg, who plays the young Cataleya. While I thought the opening featuring her was a bit overlong, Stenberg impressed me greatly with her ability and her character's inner strength. Easily the surprise of the entire film.

The most kick-ass girl in cinema right now

Unfortunately, there are far too few surprises in Colombiana. Despite the great acting involved, it barely makes up for the overused femme fatale construct that wrote the screenplay and made the film what it is. While the action sequences are indeed exciting thanks to director Olivier Megaton (which sounds like a rejected Transformers character), they are incredibly one-sided, and never do we believe that anything besides Cataleya's victory is possible. Besides transporting La Femme Nikita to Colombia and the US, and making the heroine of Latin descent, there is little to differentiate between Cataleya and her hit-woman predecessors. Sure, it's great that she is a strong woman from the start and wanted to grow up to be Xena, Warrior Princess, but as she develops her sociopathic tendencies one has to wonder that this is the person we're rooting for. Then again, this is the same woman who prances around in skintight catsuits with heavy weaponry, and upon doing so our self-reflective insights are lost to other imagery.

She does construction too? That is so hot.

Still, despite Colombiana's obvious issues with itself, Saldana and cast manage to create an enjoyable, thrilling and sometimes funny film out of the rendered husks of Femme Fatales past. You might want to wait on a rental, as it's only barely worth a full-priced ticket, but Cataleya is one of the few female action heroes in a world where 2010's Salt was a big deal sociologically despite being at best an okay movie. It's a shame Colombiana hasn't garnered as much attention as that Angelina Jolie piece did, but I still found myself entertained, as did a surprisingly full theater a week after it was released. If anyone deserves stardom, it's Saldana, and I can only hope that if she fails to reach that highest tier it is not the color of her skin that deprives her of it.

Dead Men Walking

I really don't watch a lot of television.

No, really. Between my erratic work schedule and years of being disappointed by superior shows being brought down by declining talent (both acting and writing) or diminishing viewership, I just don't go out of my way to sit in front of the tube. Some of the best shows of the past decade (Battlestar Galactica, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Arrested Development) ended not by their own terms, but by cancellation, due to lack of enough people tuning in. One of my all-time favorite TV shows, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr, lasted only a single year. Very often this means that I'm catching up to a series on DVD that I didn't tune in to the first time around, but I rarely automatically jump on bandwagons of any sort. So it takes something special for me to plunk myself down on the couch at a specified time for the sole reason of watching the premiere of any television show for an hour or even thirty minutes.

What a time to lose your contact!

AMC has hit gold of late. With the critical commercial success of original programming like the amazing Mad Men (which I'm currently catching up on) and Breaking Bad, which proved that the dad from Malcolm in the Middle COULD win awards with his talent, AMC has become the new big player on the TV network battlefield. The cable networks, which had been long dominated (and rightfully so) by HBO and Showtime's plethora of original programming, was ripe for a new kid on the block, and with new shows Rubicon and next year's The Killing, AMC's looking to move a few steps up to reaching that vaunted role. And when it was announced that they were bringing a popular movie genre to the small screen with The Walking Dead, I was intrigued and immediately hooked. Though it would certainly be a challenge to adjust the extremely violent genre to TV, even on cable, success would be unprecedented by any standards and keep me in my seat every week. When the premiere was due to air on Halloween night, I was curled up on the couch, anxiously waiting to see what the series would bring. It didn't disappoint.

Some scenes may make you regret uncovering your eyes

Based on the Image comic book series written by scribe Robert Kirkman (whose Marvel Zombies series is one of Marvel Comics' biggest hits of the past decade) and produced by suspense czar Frank Darabont and Gale Anne Hurd (who has produced some of my all-time favs, including Aliens, Terminator, and T2), The Walking Dead begins with a high-speed car chase that introduces us to Georgia-based sheriff's deputy Rick Grimes. Played by English actor Andrew Lincoln, Rick is an overall good guy, with his everyday problems. As we meet him, he's talking to his partner Shane (Jon Bernthal) about his problems at home and with his wife, Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies). Confused, unsure what he's doing wrong or how to fix it, I was deeply brought into his world, and could sympathize with the plight he put forth. Not long after this scene, Rick and Shane are involved in a high speed chase that tragically has Rick shot by the fleeing assailants. He's brought to a hospital where weeks later he finds the world has... changed. The hospital is abandoned, with little sign of the staff or patients who once had filled it's halls. When he leaves the hospital, he immediately finds himself surrounded by dead bodies left behind by the hundreds. And some of these dead bodies are still moving.

Horses against tanks? Where are we, Poland?

The first sixty minutes of the ninety-minute premiere focus on Rick getting oriented with the new world around him. After meeting some fellow survivors Morgan (Lennie James) and his son Duane (Adrian Kali-Turner), Rick (and by extension, all of us) learn everything we need to know about surviving this zombie holocaust, from the well-known (avoid getting bit, shoot 'em in the head) to specific situations concerning the series. Rick's family is gone, having apparently left when the madness started, and Rick goes on a quest to find them, deciding to start with the city of Atlanta, where the CDC and humanitarian aid is supposedly located to fix whatever this problem is. Despite these things seeming like simple bits, necessary to any zombie flick, what really makes this film unique are the characters. Lincoln is immediately likable as the resurrected hero Rick, and in his guest-starring role, James is a father grieving over the fate of his dead wife. James, who I loved during his stint in the first season of FOX's Human Target, does an excellent job in the role, getting to really delve into his emotional well to properly play the part. Lincoln I believe will be a consistent talent throughout the show's run, and his ability to truly convey the shock we would all feel if presented with this new realm of existence is a pleasant surprise for such an unknown actor (at least here in the States).

Awww, she just wants kisses!

The effects are also top-notch, with blood and gore used effectively to gross-out and frighten the weaker of heart, while the real scare veterans can be spooked by the seeming quiet, the wide open spaces that practically invite sudden, unexpected violence. Great camera work also abounds, as some of the best moments appear when the camera tilts ever so slightly so the audience catches a glimpse of what the characters on screen cannot. The zombie effects are excellent, with make-up and prosthetics as realistic as I've seen in any zombie flick, and seeing the zombies feed really hearkens back to the violence of the original Romero films of yesteryear. When you get right down to it, The Walking Dead looks like a modern horror film made for TV, and better than most.

Ain't no surviving the mean streets of Georgia

The pilot was not without it's problems, mostly with the story. When Rick wakes up in the hospital, it's not hard to think it cliched with so many zombie movies having hospital origins or destinations. This can be tracked back to 2003, when the comic was started and I'm sure 28 Days Later was still fresh in Kirkman's mind. Also, it's obvious that the last thirty minutes were written as a separate episode from the first ninety, and while I don't really have a problem with that, I do have issues with the show possibly only being a thirty-minute show in the future. The premise screams to me that it should be an hour-long show, but since I don't even know what the case is with that yet, I'm just picking at nits at this stage. So, yeah. As you can guess, there was very little not to like about this show.

Ma'am, stop biting that man!

I had a blast with The Walking Dead. Zombies have become popular again in all formats, from films and comics to video games like Left 4 Dead and Dead Rising, and now it's finally made it's way to television. I'm definitely going to keep watching the show and I'm also looking forward to checking out the graphic novels of the comic series, which I've always been aware of but never given it a thorough reading before now. If the show can keep up introducing us to fascinating characters while simultaneously bringing the love to the fans who made the zombie horror genre the success it has been and currently maintaining it in something of a new renaissance, then we as fans have little to worry about going forward. It's engaging, suspenseful, gory and thrilling, and I just know I'm going to have a hell of a time getting to sleep Sunday nights in the near future. Watch it and you'll see what I mean.

Seabiscuit's most important race to date