'Grudge Match' Past its Prime

Rocky Balboa fighting Jake LaMotta sounds like it should be a fan film, or maybe part of an unlockable secret mode in the Fight Night video game series, instead of a full-length motion picture. But that's the idea (at least in the marketing) behind Grudge Match, a sports comedy from a director who at least has some experience in that genre (but also Adam Sandler movies).

The movie pits Sylvester Stallone against Robert DeNiro - as Henry "Razor" Sharp and Billy "The Kid" McDonnen respectively - rival boxers who once upon a time fought one another in a series of epic bouts. But one man's retirement to prevent the deciding tiebreaker, shocking everybody and preventing the pair from settling the score once and for all. Thirty years later, circumstances and one very determined fight promoter (Kevin Hart) force them to face one another again, and despite their advanced age and diminished physical prowess, both find they really want this final fight. And as comedies released on Christmas goes, this has all the elements of a straightforward crowd-pleaser (not surprising, as it's from director Peter Segal, whose movies tend to draw crowds even as they repel critics). But does that premise work well for a feature, or does it turn into a featherweight come midnight?

Worst name for a PPV event, ever.

Well, it does work, kind of. We get to know each of our warriors right off the bat, and that's where things immediately start to fall flat. It's obvious from the get-go that we're supposed to be rooting for Razor, as thirty years ago he lost the girl (Kim Basinger), his will to go on with boxing, and to top it all off  was robbed of his winnings by his crooked promoter. He's easily got the most to reclaim, and getting his life back on track is a noble, well-trod goal in sports films. 

It's the small guys you have to watch out for.

Kid, meanwhile, is... an unrepentant, narcissistic asshole. I get that it's kind of close to De Niro's Raging Bull role, but when you have two heavyweights (and I mean from stardom and character development standpoints, not weight class) headlining your movie, you need to give them both a reason to resonate with the audience. Can you imagine Warrior if you had not been able to connect with the roles of BOTH Joel Edgerton and Tom Hardy? Giving both sides an emotional stake in the climactic fight is extremely important, but Kid doesn't have anything besides his pride on the table. Unlike Razor, he doesn't really need the money, attention or family to fulfill his needs (although he does connect with his illegitimate son, played by Jon Bernthal). He just wants to win to satisfy his ego. There's no reason to root for Kid, making De Niro's contributions to the film somewhat moot, since he's not even treated like the kind of straight-up villain who would NORMALLY only need the restoration of his pride as the ultimate goal.

Sixteen years after winning that Oscar, she's back in crap.

Grudge Match does make up some ground with how it treats its secondary characters, all of whom add significantly to the story. A REALLY bad movie would have overused the two most popular and humor-friendly members of the cast - Hart and Alan Arkin - to the point of annoyance. Instead, all the supporting actors have an equal responsibility for progressing the plot, and are used no more than they are absolutely needed. Now, I might have LIKED more output by Hart, who is close to becoming one of Hollywood's breakout comedic stars, especially since he's the funniest part of this movie and his absence is pretty keenly felt by the audience. And while I'm not his biggest fan, having Arkin on screen here is infinitely better than when there's NO Arkin on screen. And when you think about it, there's nothing funny about Stallone or De Niro, which is odd when you remember that this is supposed to be a sports COMEDY, not a sports DRAMA. Hart and Arkin are absolutely necessary to making the movie even remotely funny, and when they're not around, there's nobody else to pick up the slack. It would have even made sense for Segal to lean on these two actors, as he doesn't have the makings of a GREAT movie on his hands to justify being economical with their usage. Grudge Match needed more from these two, but never quite figured that out in time.

Free Kevin Hart! We want Ride Along!

From an inspirational sports comedy perspective, the rest plays out in a fairly normal fashion. Though Tim Kelleher and Rodney Rothman have mostly worked on television, their screenplay moves the story along smoothly, getting our heroes back into fighting shape, dealing with one antother's presence and tackling their personal issues in standard, unsurprising ways. That's the other major problem with the movie, as there's nothing here that catches you off guard in the way a good sports movie will often do. It's all fairly straightforward, and the few niggling plot threads are sewn up pretty quickly. I don't expect a genius story to come from Segal's editing room (this is the man who brought us Get Smart and Anger Management, after all), but a little bit of complexity would have been a welcome addition to a movie that has no real surprises in store. 

That is not a flattering shade of green.

Even with all of Grudge Match's flaws, there's still a bit of nostalgic fun in seeing Rocky and Jake square off in the third act, giving the film a nice boost of charm. It's too bad that this feels required, however, as without that particular face-off this is a title that needed a lot more polish if it was going to be anything decent. It's not even particularly funny, as there just aren't enough humorous elements to magically transform it into the comedy it bills itself as. Instead, Grudge Match is instantly forgettable, especially when you consider how many superior theatrical options are available right now. If you really, desperately want to see that fictionally iconic match-up, it'll still be there when the DVD is released, but otherwise there's absolutely no reason to run out there to see it right now.

Dead Men Walking

I really don't watch a lot of television.

No, really. Between my erratic work schedule and years of being disappointed by superior shows being brought down by declining talent (both acting and writing) or diminishing viewership, I just don't go out of my way to sit in front of the tube. Some of the best shows of the past decade (Battlestar Galactica, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Arrested Development) ended not by their own terms, but by cancellation, due to lack of enough people tuning in. One of my all-time favorite TV shows, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr, lasted only a single year. Very often this means that I'm catching up to a series on DVD that I didn't tune in to the first time around, but I rarely automatically jump on bandwagons of any sort. So it takes something special for me to plunk myself down on the couch at a specified time for the sole reason of watching the premiere of any television show for an hour or even thirty minutes.

What a time to lose your contact!

AMC has hit gold of late. With the critical commercial success of original programming like the amazing Mad Men (which I'm currently catching up on) and Breaking Bad, which proved that the dad from Malcolm in the Middle COULD win awards with his talent, AMC has become the new big player on the TV network battlefield. The cable networks, which had been long dominated (and rightfully so) by HBO and Showtime's plethora of original programming, was ripe for a new kid on the block, and with new shows Rubicon and next year's The Killing, AMC's looking to move a few steps up to reaching that vaunted role. And when it was announced that they were bringing a popular movie genre to the small screen with The Walking Dead, I was intrigued and immediately hooked. Though it would certainly be a challenge to adjust the extremely violent genre to TV, even on cable, success would be unprecedented by any standards and keep me in my seat every week. When the premiere was due to air on Halloween night, I was curled up on the couch, anxiously waiting to see what the series would bring. It didn't disappoint.

Some scenes may make you regret uncovering your eyes

Based on the Image comic book series written by scribe Robert Kirkman (whose Marvel Zombies series is one of Marvel Comics' biggest hits of the past decade) and produced by suspense czar Frank Darabont and Gale Anne Hurd (who has produced some of my all-time favs, including Aliens, Terminator, and T2), The Walking Dead begins with a high-speed car chase that introduces us to Georgia-based sheriff's deputy Rick Grimes. Played by English actor Andrew Lincoln, Rick is an overall good guy, with his everyday problems. As we meet him, he's talking to his partner Shane (Jon Bernthal) about his problems at home and with his wife, Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies). Confused, unsure what he's doing wrong or how to fix it, I was deeply brought into his world, and could sympathize with the plight he put forth. Not long after this scene, Rick and Shane are involved in a high speed chase that tragically has Rick shot by the fleeing assailants. He's brought to a hospital where weeks later he finds the world has... changed. The hospital is abandoned, with little sign of the staff or patients who once had filled it's halls. When he leaves the hospital, he immediately finds himself surrounded by dead bodies left behind by the hundreds. And some of these dead bodies are still moving.

Horses against tanks? Where are we, Poland?

The first sixty minutes of the ninety-minute premiere focus on Rick getting oriented with the new world around him. After meeting some fellow survivors Morgan (Lennie James) and his son Duane (Adrian Kali-Turner), Rick (and by extension, all of us) learn everything we need to know about surviving this zombie holocaust, from the well-known (avoid getting bit, shoot 'em in the head) to specific situations concerning the series. Rick's family is gone, having apparently left when the madness started, and Rick goes on a quest to find them, deciding to start with the city of Atlanta, where the CDC and humanitarian aid is supposedly located to fix whatever this problem is. Despite these things seeming like simple bits, necessary to any zombie flick, what really makes this film unique are the characters. Lincoln is immediately likable as the resurrected hero Rick, and in his guest-starring role, James is a father grieving over the fate of his dead wife. James, who I loved during his stint in the first season of FOX's Human Target, does an excellent job in the role, getting to really delve into his emotional well to properly play the part. Lincoln I believe will be a consistent talent throughout the show's run, and his ability to truly convey the shock we would all feel if presented with this new realm of existence is a pleasant surprise for such an unknown actor (at least here in the States).

Awww, she just wants kisses!

The effects are also top-notch, with blood and gore used effectively to gross-out and frighten the weaker of heart, while the real scare veterans can be spooked by the seeming quiet, the wide open spaces that practically invite sudden, unexpected violence. Great camera work also abounds, as some of the best moments appear when the camera tilts ever so slightly so the audience catches a glimpse of what the characters on screen cannot. The zombie effects are excellent, with make-up and prosthetics as realistic as I've seen in any zombie flick, and seeing the zombies feed really hearkens back to the violence of the original Romero films of yesteryear. When you get right down to it, The Walking Dead looks like a modern horror film made for TV, and better than most.

Ain't no surviving the mean streets of Georgia

The pilot was not without it's problems, mostly with the story. When Rick wakes up in the hospital, it's not hard to think it cliched with so many zombie movies having hospital origins or destinations. This can be tracked back to 2003, when the comic was started and I'm sure 28 Days Later was still fresh in Kirkman's mind. Also, it's obvious that the last thirty minutes were written as a separate episode from the first ninety, and while I don't really have a problem with that, I do have issues with the show possibly only being a thirty-minute show in the future. The premise screams to me that it should be an hour-long show, but since I don't even know what the case is with that yet, I'm just picking at nits at this stage. So, yeah. As you can guess, there was very little not to like about this show.

Ma'am, stop biting that man!

I had a blast with The Walking Dead. Zombies have become popular again in all formats, from films and comics to video games like Left 4 Dead and Dead Rising, and now it's finally made it's way to television. I'm definitely going to keep watching the show and I'm also looking forward to checking out the graphic novels of the comic series, which I've always been aware of but never given it a thorough reading before now. If the show can keep up introducing us to fascinating characters while simultaneously bringing the love to the fans who made the zombie horror genre the success it has been and currently maintaining it in something of a new renaissance, then we as fans have little to worry about going forward. It's engaging, suspenseful, gory and thrilling, and I just know I'm going to have a hell of a time getting to sleep Sunday nights in the near future. Watch it and you'll see what I mean.

Seabiscuit's most important race to date