Longtime readers and/or movie buffs might remember that Stewart is a horrible filmmaker. In 2010, the visual effects specialist made his directorial debut with Legion, about fallen angels and the end of the world. In 2011 he brought us Priest, about a post-apocalyptic vampire-riddled western future. While it shouldn't be wrong for me to believe that either of these would be awesome, I was pained both times by horrible storytelling, an over-reliance on special effects and atrocious pacing. Legion was the worst movie of 2010, and Priest wasn't much better at eighth worst the next year. I'm still not sure why anybody keeps giving him money to make movies, but the knowledge that he was behind the movie I was about to see made me shrink at the idea of what I was about to behold.
|Just a couple of normal victims...|
|"We have to talk about your school assignment..."|
|"No, go ahead, I'm listening..."|
|I hate you; please be abducted by aliens.|
|Spooky. But not great.|