Battle Tested, NOT Mom Approved

What was the last sword and sorcery film you saw in the theaters? Think about that for a minute. When was the last time you even knew of a sword and sorcery film to be IN a theater? We all may be familiar with the genre, as over the years we've come across various VHS tapes of random cult classics over the years, but most of these are small budget foreign films that we laugh at rather than actually cherish as strong moviemaking. Dragonslayer, Krull, and the Beastmaster series all appeal to some people, but it has been a difficult venture to push this type of violent, action-driven movie among the masses. Despite that, some classic films have been major box office winners, perhaps most notably the 1982 film Conan the Barbarian. After this "Golden Age", however the genre has grown somewhat ignored, as while 2010's Clash of the Titans was an undeniable success, others have not been so lucky. Kull the Conqueror was a massive failure that almost ended the acting career of Kevin Sorbo, and Pathfinder was a bust, this one starring the talented Karl Urban. Strangely, both these titles have a connection to the recently-released Conan the Barbarian reboot: Kull was originally intended to be a new Conan film, but franchise star Arnold Schwarzeneggar did not want to reprise his classic role and Sorbo did not want to retread another actor's star. And Pathfinder was directed by Marcus Nispel, who also helmed this latest Conan title, which raises as many eyebrows as it furrows. For one thing, there is the complete lack of star power pushing this title. While we'll get to that later, there's also the risk in restarting a famous franchise after so long a time, egregious use of 3D (which by now can be safely called a "fad"), and last but not least, entering into a genre that really hasn't received as much love as in its heyday. The trailers made it look bad, but at my good friend Steve's insistence, I put my fears aside to attempt enjoying a title of which I had no impression that I was to be entertained.

Early casting for Baywatch: Hyborea

As origin stories go, this one isn't too bad; born by blood in a great battle, young Conan grows destined to become on of his villages better warriors, attempting to prove himself to his father (Ron Perlman) the tribe's elder, and the rest of his village as well. This ends when warlord Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) invades to find a piece to a mystical relic that will allow him to conquer the world of Hyborea. After murdering or enslaving everyone but Conan, the boy is left to bury his father and make his own way. As an adult, Conan (Jason Momoa) is an aimless free rider, leading a pack of do-gooders who battle those who would inflict harm on others. Doing this is all a plot for Conan to find the man who destroyed his life, and he finally relocates Zym as the despot searches for the final piece to the same puzzle he was attempting to solve so long ago. Zym has hunted down the last of the "pure bloods", descended from a race of ancient necromancers. Now to prevent Zym from realizing his goals and obtain his revenge, Conan must keep unassuming maiden Tamara (Rachel Nichols) out of the clutches of Zym and his lieutenants.

Hmmm, for some reason I'm putting my money on the Kid

That it's a classic "damsel in distress" story is probably the most disappointing thing about Conan the Barbarian, as an interesting origin story is ultimately wasted on what passes as the rest of the film. All the elements are in place. Tamara as unassuming and unprepared for her destiny, Khalar Zym's warlock daughter Marique (Rose McGowan), an ancient prophecy (expressly spelled out in the film's opening), an endless supply of underlings before we get to the hero/villain battle, etc, etc. Do I have to really spell it out for you? If it wasn't for the fact that we see this theme far too often in MODERN movies this would probably not be the worst concept for a franchise reboot. However, expectations are supposed to be raised in these situations, and this story just doesn't cut it. Nispel also shares some of the blame, as while he pieces together some genuinely fun battle sequences, I can't help but feel he's another Zack Snyder in the making. The better scenes are devoid of dialogue and play out like some medieval music video set to heavy metal, not too unlike the best parts of this year's awful Sucker Punch. That Nispel is no more than a poor man's Snyder is at this stage in his career is fairly damning, as his earlier works were far more heralded and successful.

Not the best place to meet a half-naked barbarian, no

However, if Nispel did have one point of success, it was casting Jason Momoa as the titular hero. Slimmer and more athletic than the burly Schwarzenegger ever was, Momoa at first seems like an odd choice, as most people remember his early role of Jason Ioane on Baywatch Hawaii. However, many people don't realize that he's actually built a nice little career for himself, following a gap of productivity post-Baywatch with a significant role on the cult series Stargate Atlantis and a star-making turn on HBO's latest hit series Game of Thrones, based on the novels by George R R Martin. I have to believe that it was his work on Thrones that ultimately landed him the role of Conan, and he's easily the best part of the film as a whole. Physical presence aside, Momoa is convincing emotionally and actually gets a chance to show more than just the guttural growls that the preview trailers have allowed us to see. A shame that the rest of the cast is uninspired by comparison. Or maybe they just seem so compared to Momoa. Ron Perlman and Stephen Lang don't tread far from their usual ground, but they excel in those narrow ranges so that works out fine. The worst is probably Rachel Nichols, not surprising considering what seemed to be a lack of commitment to her work in GI Joe a couple of years ago. With a little hard work, she could have done more than be a pretty face, but perhaps that's too much to ask of her. Rose McGowan is actually okay, her slightly incestuous witch character made complete with a total makeup transformation. Still, she's not given enough moments to shine, often overshadowed by Lang in most scenes.

At least the horse isn't 3D rendered

One thing I would have loved could have been more character development of Zym's lieutenants and mercenaries. There were some, such as former NFL player and mediocre MMA fighter Bob Sapp as a churlish giant or Diana Lubenova as the leader of a team of blind archers, that feel underused as little more than cannon fodder (so you can imagine how the REAL cannon fodder was treated). I would have appreciated if we had seen less of the exploits of Conan and Tamara and turned the camera their way once in a while. But even the leads have little in the way of character development, as tracks are predictable and dialogue is silly to the point of excruciating. And the special effects? Servicable but nothing special, once again this is a title that is hampered by 3D expectations. I know I keep harping on about how bad 3D gets, but if they'd stop dropping unlit fuses in front of me I wouldn't be tempted to fetch my lighter so often. Here it isn't even bad so much as useless, as there isn't anything that makes effective use of the technology. Even Final Destination 5 had better 3D applications, and that's far from the vanguard of master filmmaking. There isn't a single movie in my Top 10 that was ever released in 3D (to my knowledge) and I've seen no reason to add any. Far from the "future" of filmmaking, I'm sure 3D will run its course with all but the most worthy titles before too long as the misses continue to outpace the hits.

Don't make him angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry

Jason Momoa has earned a hit. As the best part of Conan the Barbarian, he DESERVES one. However, this film isn't it. Perhaps people just don't care about Conan as much as Hollywood thought. Perhaps they DID know, but decided to experiment anyway. Either way, hopefully this doesn't hurt Momoa's standing as a star in the making. Undeniably charismatic and utterly devoted to his roles, Momoa is the ONLY genuine reason to pay for a ticket to see this film in the theaters. The rest isn't BAD, but the film doesn't outstrip its limited origins enough to make a good first impression, nor harbor any hopes of a series continuation. You can safely skip it, but part of me does grieve that this might be the last Conan film we see for quite a while (Hollywood never gives up on anything). If it had gotten a better director, better script and more support (and maybe a Red Sonja). this had a chance to be a good summer release. Bad management put an end to that, and it will instead end up among the forgotten of 2011.

Latin Fever

Sometimes you see a trailer so flawed, so flush with derivative story and character, awash in wanton violence and sexual innuendo, that you can tell it is not a film worth spending your time or money on. 90% of the time that is true. On the other hand, sometimes you see a trailer with those same qualities, and despite knowing that the movie will have its issues, you still can't wait for it to come out in theaters so you can catch it yourself. That tangible difference between them may be slight, but for some reason most titles in that vein are nigh unwatchable, while Colombiana intrigued me to the point where I couldn't see myself NOT watching it. As if featuring a kick-ass Zoe Saldana in a role similar to La Femme Nikita was not enough, the film was produced by Luc Besson, who if nothing else knows how to make interesting looking movies. Colombiana caught a lot of flak for its portrayal of a lawless Colombia and the organized crime that infests it, but none of that had any bearing on my wanting to see it. If anything, it was Saldana who is guilty of that, as the star has taken her career to another level the past few years with starring turns in Star Trek, Avatar, and even last year's The Losers even if not enough people watched it. She was the primary (if not only) reason to see Colombiana in the theaters, as achieving a leading role is an even bigger step forward than this particular talent has taken so far.

First rule for dating Zoe: Don't get on her bad side

After her parents are murdered by Colombian drug lord Don Luis (Benito Benites) and his right hand man Marco (Jordi Molla) at nine years of age, Cataleya (Saldana) escapes to America where her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis) takes her in and eventually trains her to become a lethal assassin. Twenty years later, Cataleya is one of the world's deadliest women, and her attention has shifted to flushing out the men responsible for taking her family away, while balancing that with the facade of a "normal" life and her romantic involvement with artist Danny (Michael Vartan). Soon, the FBI, CIA and Don Luis are all after Cataleya, and she must use every weapon in her arsenal just to survive, if not escape her life completely.

Some people take peeping into toilets to a whole other level

As you can tell by the actors I mentioned above, there's hardly anyone of note beyond Saldana in the cast notes. While several of them are indeed talented performers and character actors, only Saldana could be considered a star, not surprising considering the heavy Latin American casting needed to make this film. It's only recently that Latin American performers have been successful in more mainstream roles, as in the past they've had to settle small, stereotypical parts or "genre" flicks with no widespread appeal. Michael Pena is one actor who has vaulted that barrier, as is Saldana, who is captivating in every scene she enters in Colombiana. Since that's almost the entire film, she had to be on for every moment, and she emotes sexuality, intensity and intelligence perfectly. She had some help from the filmmakers, as one scene with her sucking on a lollypop while performing maintenance on a firearm elegantly captures the dichotomy of her innocent childhood with her murderous adult life, but it is mostly her ability to become this dangerous character that makes her so valuable to the film in question. Running a close second is British actor Lennie James, the guy we all wanted to see more of after the series premiere of The Walking Dead. As an FBI agent tracking Cataleya's murders, James is a good alternate to leading the scenes which Saldana herself can't be part of. Cliff Curtis is also solid as Cataleya's uncle, a professional hitman who at times regrets introducing her to this life. Curtis has put up good performances in recent films Push and Sunshine, and I always like seeing him on the big screen. Michael Vartan thankfully doesn't have as much of an impact on the story as he could have; he's fine as an actor but the romance angle was overcooked from the start and predictable in its execution. Molla and Benites are campy villains, more dangerous in their off-screen doings than in anything we actually see ourselves. Most impressive on the cast might be Amandla Stenberg, who plays the young Cataleya. While I thought the opening featuring her was a bit overlong, Stenberg impressed me greatly with her ability and her character's inner strength. Easily the surprise of the entire film.

The most kick-ass girl in cinema right now

Unfortunately, there are far too few surprises in Colombiana. Despite the great acting involved, it barely makes up for the overused femme fatale construct that wrote the screenplay and made the film what it is. While the action sequences are indeed exciting thanks to director Olivier Megaton (which sounds like a rejected Transformers character), they are incredibly one-sided, and never do we believe that anything besides Cataleya's victory is possible. Besides transporting La Femme Nikita to Colombia and the US, and making the heroine of Latin descent, there is little to differentiate between Cataleya and her hit-woman predecessors. Sure, it's great that she is a strong woman from the start and wanted to grow up to be Xena, Warrior Princess, but as she develops her sociopathic tendencies one has to wonder that this is the person we're rooting for. Then again, this is the same woman who prances around in skintight catsuits with heavy weaponry, and upon doing so our self-reflective insights are lost to other imagery.

She does construction too? That is so hot.

Still, despite Colombiana's obvious issues with itself, Saldana and cast manage to create an enjoyable, thrilling and sometimes funny film out of the rendered husks of Femme Fatales past. You might want to wait on a rental, as it's only barely worth a full-priced ticket, but Cataleya is one of the few female action heroes in a world where 2010's Salt was a big deal sociologically despite being at best an okay movie. It's a shame Colombiana hasn't garnered as much attention as that Angelina Jolie piece did, but I still found myself entertained, as did a surprisingly full theater a week after it was released. If anyone deserves stardom, it's Saldana, and I can only hope that if she fails to reach that highest tier it is not the color of her skin that deprives her of it.

E.T. Phone tha Hood

It isn't too often I come across a legitimate limited release film by myself. Usually I need to be told these films are in theaters, or risk missing them completely. Often I learn of them by virtue of award nominations (Rabbit Hole and Barney's Version come to mind), but when the commendations aren't flying a lot of luck is usually involved in me learning of a minor release. Fortunately, I live near an independent cinema that loves showing such movies, and even the multiplex I frequent has one or two "lesser" films sandwiched in between the IMAX screens for people who want to try something different. In that case I'll probably come across these titles when their trailers appear on the big screen, and that's how I've come to know of a few you might have missed (like Win Win). Still, that encompasses some luck as well, and I'm looking in other avenues for news. That's how I came across Attack the Block, the film debut of comedian Joe Cornish about an alien invasion of the slums of South London, and a gang of street rats who go up against them. As many of you know, I do use Twitter, and who should I end up following but Shaun of the Dead and Paul star Nick Frost, who dropped this little birdie into my lap... and that of over three hundred thousand other followers, but they're not nearly as important. The concept behind Attack the Block definitely seemed a good one; I simply had to see it to believe that there was much different between this and a random SyFy original movie.

Them versus blood-sucking aliens? Still not sure where to place my bets...

While people are out on Bonfire Night (also known as Guy Fawkes Day in England) celebrating by drinking and launching fireworks, a gang of inner city teens is up their usual tricks, mugging pedestrians on the street and breaking into cars for valuables. This night turns far from usual however, as by chance they are present when what seems to be a meteor lands nearby, attracting their attention. To their surprise, an alien creature emerges from the wreckage, attacking the group's leader Moses (John Boyega), resulting in the gang chasing down the creature and ultimately killing it. Realizing that they were dealing with something not of this world, the group takes the carcass back to their block tenement where they hope to reap some benefit from this event. What they fail to realize is that this small creature is the opening act of an alien invasion, and only they and their most recent mugging victim (Jodie Whittaker) are able and willing to fight back against the alien's much larger and more dangerous cousins..

Sorry, no Simon Pegg this time around

As you can expect, this is mostly a "defeat the monster" film, with no room for much extra. Attack the Block does make some minor statements on societal class, but don't expect anything rivaling that of the HBO series The Wire, as only the criminal hierarchy of the block tenement where the film's stars reside is really present in comparison. The film is pretty much all about the alien invasion, with some comedic elements thrown in for a break in the tension. Honestly, I didn't think it was the best mix; not that suspense and humor can't coexist but just in this case the humor should have been worked in a little more evenly. A bit more with Nick Frost would have helped, as Frost is almost wasted in his role as drug dealer Ron, whose "weed room" is considered the film's last holding ground (much like the Winchester Pub in Shaun of the Dead). Ron and his pothead customer Brewis (Luke Treadaway) are presented as the film's main comic foils, though only Brewis is actually important to the story, with Ron being as expendable as your average Red Shirt. He has his moments, but overall he has less than that of two small boys (Sammy Williams and Michael Ajao) who steal the show with their attempts being toughs like the gang.

Yeah, I'll let the guy with the sword go first

As for the monster movie aspect, the effects are actually quite realistic for a small budget title. Without giving too much away, the creatures are simply designed enough so that it doesn't take a lot of effort to realistically show them to the audience. It's true that you don't see too much of the aliens at first, as they are relegated to the shadows, but this is more for creating suspense than having to make up for creation deficiencies. The way they interact with the live characters is also frighteningly realistic, and seeing them tear a head or face off a major character is always a shock. This was somewhat of a surprise, as I fully expected that the weak point would be special effects unable to capture the imagination of the filmmakers and the audience. The amount of violence present was also unexpected, but to be fair if I ever get used to seeing teenagers get torn apart, you might want to get me committed.

Express elevator, going... oh, you're leaving

Unfortunately, the film's cast of characters are mostly forgettable, samey types that won't be remembered in six months time. Most of the street toughs are little more than annoying stereotypes of ghetto caricatures. The main exception is Boyega; as the young actor makes his cinema debut here and really surprises you with his ability to attract your attention and sustain it over the course of a film. I have no idea if this level will be consistent with his future acting career, but he certainly seems to have the brightest future among the young actors present. Whittaker is also solid, though understandably her performance pales in comparison to that of Boyega. As a recent mugging victim, she makes an uneasy ally to the boys, but the characters really get a feeling of eachother by the film's conclusion, and she does a good job as the voice of the audience who wouldn't trust these boys watching their backs. The other standout is Jumayn Hunter as local gangster Hi-Hatz, Ron's boss and ruler of the criminal element in the block. As a secondary villain, Hi-Hatz might not always be rational or even very smart, but it's his tenacity and remarkable habit for self-preservation that make him stand out, and Hunter fills those qualities impeccably.

Apparently bicycles are "street" now

Ultimately, it's the subtle charm of the story and Joe Cornish's natural direction that help win the day when it comes to Attack the Block. It is a surprisingly smart, clever film full of surprises and just enough humor to wash the blood out, and while it may not be the perfect iteration of its genre, it does enough things right for the audience to come out feeling mostly entertained. It could have been funnier and scarier, and a little more Nick Frost might have gone a long way, but in the end those aren't serious complaints. If you can still find it in a theater near you, I heartily recommend it as an alternative to recent horror releases that you're stuck on whether to go and see. I guarantee you'll have more fun seeing this film than you would Apollo 18 or Shark Night 3D.

If Only

I think my stalwart film sidekick Anne put it best when the final credits began rolling. She turned to me, eyes filled with wonder at being at the side of THE Mr. Anderson, and stated "I don't know what to think about that movie." That pretty much sums up my own thoughts on One Day, the newest romance film by Danish director Lone Scherfig. Scherfig, whose 2009 release An Education was a major success and was nominated for Best Picture at that year's Academy Awards, was but one attraction to the title, which was based on the bestselling novel by David Nicholls and stars talented performers Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess in the leading roles. But I couldn't help but feel that there was much missing in the way of unique or significantly different story elements. In fact, heading into One Day felt like being uncertain whether to expect a genuine Italian buffet or a Las Vegas grease pit. Still, I've had some luck with romantic films this year (Something Borrowed being an obvious exception), and with the talent involved, I was at least looking forward to seeing this for the product that it was, rather than the expectations I could perceive.

Get used to seeing these two; there's hardly anyone else of note anywhere in the film

Beginning the day Emma (Hathaway) and Dexter (Sturgess) meet at their college graduation, One Day follows their lives on the anniversary of that day for twenty years. Starting as an aborted romantic fling, the two become close friends, and the film lets us see their interaction one day a year for the entirety of the story. During this a number of successes and tragedies that fill their lives are followed, as both Emma and Dexter find their own paths towards contentment, love, and finally back to one another.

They studied make-outs at F.U.

Wow, that was a short paragraph. Try as I might, I can't think of anything more in depth to say about the film's plot, because what you see above is really all there is to it. Emma and Dexter are complete opposites, which is supposed to be a clear signal to us the audience that they are meant to be together, even if they themselves take forever to come to that same conclusion. The two are so different that they even take the opposite paths through their careers (Dexter has success early on while Emma struggles and later vice versa) before reaching true contentment, proving to me that perhaps this story was better in concept than execution. I've never read the book by Nicholls, but as he also wrote the screenplay I find myself unperturbed by any inclination to read the novel at all. It was a nice idea, but one that is poorly told by both the screenplay and the director Scherfig.

One Day, the awkward teen years

If there is any consolation, it is the acting of the film's two stars. Anne Hathaway's career seems to have faltered a little after her critical acclaim in 2008's Rachel Getting Married, and while she certainly never slacks off in her work, it's disheartening when she's either in bad movies (Bride Wars) or box office bombs (the underrated Love and Other Drugs) or stuck in bit parts that don't suit her (Alice in Wonderland). One major obstacle I thought I would have to overcome was Hathaway's attempt at a British accent, one that had shocked and distracted me during the trailers. Thankfully, she does a fine job with it, and what could have been a disaster is barely noticeable once you get used to the difference. Sturgess has been an unsung talent thus far, his films not receiving a lot of attention since his breakout in 2007's Across the Universe. Since then, I've seen a couple of films with him (21 and last year's The Way Back) but I don't claim to have the full measure of Sturgess as an actor yet. Still, he proves himself charming and a decent talent, showing a wider range than even Hathaway over the course of the story. If there's one problem with their performances, it's the fact that neither Emma nor Dexter are particularly likable characters. Dexter is shown to be such a douchebag that it's difficult to believe that Emma would remain friends with him for so long, and Emma is cursed with both a stick up her ass AND low self-esteem, which make her early whining hard to bear. Both Hathaway and Sturgess do their best, and are helped by a natural chemistry between them, but it's an uphill battle to make us care about the characters and their story, a fight they almost overcome.

Awww... isn't he a cute asshole?

Of course, these two dominate the screen so much that any supporting characters have to really stand out to be noticeable. The best of them is Patricia Clarkson, who over the past year has continually proven that she's got more versatility than most would credit her. As Dexter's sick mother she proves to be both a charmer and scene-stealer, and the best part of the film's early going. An assortment of perfectly okay performances from Rafe Spall, Ramola Garai and Ken Stott are ever present as additional characters for the leads to interact with, but since 90% of the film focuses exclusively on Emma and Dexter, their work is almost unnoticed unless they have something to do with a major plot change. Even then, it is the main characters that move forward, with these side bits barely registering a blip of interest on our radars.

Bad hair days for everyone!

The film's final act is as predictable as it is sad, and though it may inspire a few tears, it's hardly the stuff of legends. As I feared, there was decidedly little that the film offered as different from any other title in existence. With so many good titles having come out in 2011 and even more available for rent on DVD from decades past, there's no reason to waste good money on One Day unless you really, REALLY want to. The great acting aside, this title overall pales in comparison to Midnight in Paris or Crazy Stupid Love, and even fails to live up to the standards of Larry Crowne, as base a romantic comedy as you can get while still remaining entertaining. Failing to reach even this low threshold is disappointing, but for the most part this was not the biggest surprise. Anne said it right in that there are good and bad things about One Day; unfortunately for the film's stars it might take a few more to get where they truly belong in Hollywood's hierarchy.

Bad Internet!

The internet is wonky, so I have no choice but to postpone the latest review until at least tomorrow. But stay tuned as this week I'll be reviewing One Day, Attack the Block, and Colombiana. I can't wait to bring these reviews to you!

See you soon!

Last Stop

While 2011 might not be a remarkable year for cinema in general, there are a few things that stand out as minor landmarks in the great picture. First and foremost, it will be the first full year in which Hello, Mr. Anderson has posted movie reviews for an entire calendar year, which is crazy since it feels like even longer ago that I instituted the thrice-weekly schedule I now adhere to. In reality that was only last September, but my experience with the medium has exploded a hundred times since then. I've seen a lot of firsts in the cinema and on rental, though few would be considered great achievements. For instance, Final Destination 5 is both the first in horror franchise that I have seen in the theater, and the first not only that I've experienced in 3D but the first in the series to be shot in RealD 3D, filmed in that particular aspect instead of being converted to appear 3D in post production. This is an important fact because just about every movie turned 3D after filming that is not an animated title has been criticized for lackluster visuals on top of their other foibles. Sure, not every problem stemmed from the 3D as a whole, but any title opting to take the post production shortcut to 3D has suffered to some extent because of it. RealD 3D, however, is different. First introduced with 2009's Avatar, RealD can be held responsible for the explosion of 3D in cinema today, and those using the same Avatar technology have soared higher than their poorer cousins, and mostly fared better at the box office. The predecessor to this particular title, The Final Destination, suffered the slings and arrows of critics for their use of lesser 3D in their film release. Despite the fact that it made enough bank to warrant yet another sequel, the filmmakers thankfully learned their lesson and took James Cameron's teachings to heart. Love or hate his latest films, Cameron has certainly made his biggest mark on the world of technology, and those films that use his RealD technology have an edge in sheer visual amazement.

That's right. Guess who's next?

While on a business retreat with the sales staff of the factory plant that is his employment, Sam (Nick D'Agostino) has a vision of the suspension bridge they are crossing collapsing, killing him and his friends and coworkers in particularly gruesome fashions. When he awakes from this dream, he convinces his girlfriend Molly (Emma Bell) and several others to get off the bus and escape the bridge, mere moments before his premonition comes true and a combination of bridge construction and high winds causes the bridge to be destroyed. At first it seems as if they are just lucky survivors, with their whole lives ahead of them. But Death doesn't like being cheated, and one by one the people who should have died on that bridge become victims of gory and sudden accidents that leave Sam and Molly searching for a way to avoid their seemingly inevitable demises.

Sure, it's a big budget movie, but going from :Law & Order to this just seems wrong

While at first it wouldn't seem that there was anything new to the Final Destination franchise than the manner of and complexity to character deaths, my first question is what else do you need? Yes, the story in Final Destination 5 is carbon copy similar to every one of every film in the series to date. With the exception of the previous entry, all the titles in the franchise had shown an amazing propensity for not only cleverly offing their cannon fodder, but doing so in a way that lays all the clues in front of you while still completely catching you off guard as to how someone will die. The Final Destination got lazy in that department, and in ways that was far worse than their lackluster 3D presentation. Final Destination 5 however is a true return to form, making every death feel earned and felt by the audience. Standouts include a balance beam act that will leave you cringing long before the death knell and laser eye surgery gone terribly wrong. The strength of these early moments sadly don't translate to the story's final act, but even these scenes are far better than any presented in the last film.

After 10 years, the victims in Final Destination films don't get any older.

The acting is also a step up from the mediocrity that populated the last feature film to share this franchise's name. Nick D'Agostino plays a much more balanced, deep, and sympathetic lead than we've seen from this series in some time, and the actor himself is not too shabby given this challenge. He might not be an everyday Hollywood star, but this role has the potential to carry his talents the way a similar part did for rising television star Ali Larter back in 2000. Emma Bell is less impressive, playing a morose and otherwise uninteresting romantic/horror lead with little to do or say that others couldn't do as well if not better. Miles Fisher has talent but it is mostly wasted as Sam's friend who ends up being more smarmy than charming and doesn't elicit sympathy from the audience when he cracks. Arlen Escarpeta plays the token black guy. That's practically all I have to say about him. Jacqueline MacInnes Wood looks like a Megan Fox wannabe but proves to carry much more talent than the Transformers hottie who thinks she's a real actress. Nice additions to the cast are Courtney B. Vance as a detective investigating the strange deaths, and David Koechner as Sam's insensitive and empty-headed boss. Both add their own elements to the film that might go unnoticed at first but really help the story move along. And Tony Todd returns as William Bludworth, the coroner who understands Death's plans. Todd is a hallmark of the series, and brings back an atmosphere and old-school scare to the franchise that hasn't been present since his presence in Final Destination 2.

Well, that's ONE way to guarantee a captive audience...

Since I made such a fuss over it earlier, I might as well mention it: the 3D effects for Final Destination 5 are leaps and bounds over the heads of most 3D films out there, especially over The Final Destination's unappetizing offerings. Being shot in 3D instead of getting converted after the fact really does make all the difference, as objects leaping off the screen feel far more natural and integrated than they would otherwise. That means that you actually forget that you're watching a 3D film until you're shocked back into reality, a better use of the technology than constantly trying to wow us with computer generated imagery. True, you don't NEED to see any movie in 3D, but here is an example where doing so is not to the detriment of the finished product.

Would that face lie?

I really enjoyed myself in seeing Final Destination 5. The finale especially is impressive and shocking enough to almost cause me to rank this much higher, but don't worry; it's not making its way onto any Top 10 lists in the near future. Is it a great movie? Oh goodness, no. Most non-horror fans won't like it, and the gore may be too much for your average adult, not to mention the four-year-old child you might have brought with you, thinking it a good idea (yes, I'm talking to you; you know who you are). But for those who loved the original eleven years ago, there's very little reason not to embrace this title. Suspenseful when it needs to be, funny when it wants, and never lacking for entertainment, you won't regret picking this title for an evening fix when you want some new-fashioned gore mixed with old-fashioned terror.

A Helping Hand

Getting ready for the changes every September 1'st brings has been a challenge this year; that's why you haven't seen Hello, Mr. Anderson following its usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule these past few weeks. Between helping people move and preparing for my own new housemates, not to mention the stresses and cracks in everyday life, it's been difficult to put out a product consistently for you my readers. Now that things have settled down a bit, I'll be trying to get back onto that road that worked well for me for so long. Maybe I need to bring some help in getting this together. Oh, look, a segue! (Note to self: work on trimming down the segues)

The Help is probably the first genuine awards contender I've seen in 2011. While most of the likely nominees and critical darlings are released in the winter months leading up to award season, there are always a few that come out during the summer, hidden among the explosive action films and kooky comedies. There are some every year, with Inception, The Hurt Locker and Little Miss Sunshine perhaps the best examples from the past few years. I've actually been surprised not to have come upon a similar contender earlier in 2011, a year not lacking in good films but in stellar ones. Before the release of this review, my Top 10 list had only one title from the entire year (J.J. Abram's Super 8) with realistic potential for a Best Picture nomination, while several great films (Hanna, Win Win, Midnight in Paris) will likely go unrecognized. The Help won't. It's got all the trappings - I mean strengths - that make it an ideal contender: an all-star cast playing strong characters; an easily recognizable and culturally important dichotomy of racism in the Old South; and most importantly, the story is based on the bestselling novel by Kathryn Stockett and directed by the author's childhood friend. At the very least, it wants to be the audience darling of 2011, and my trusty cinema sidekick Anne and I caught this latest piece before I would move back to the more typical summer fare of Conan the Barbarian, Fright Night and Final Destination V.

Move over, Skeeter; there can be only one Mr. Anderson!

When Eugenia "Skeeter" Phelan (Emma Stone) returns to her hometown of Jackson after graduating from the University of Mississippi, she wants to change things. An aspiring journalist and author, she desires to write a story from the vantage point of the "help", the poor black women who serve as housemaids, cooks, and surrogate parents to the spoiled upper-class white women who effectively run the small town. She is inspired by her own experiences growing up, as well as by a new initiative by the "Alpha" housewife Hilly Holbrook (Bryce Dallas Howard) to legally require every house to have a separate outhouse for the required use of the help, due to the "diseases" they supposedly carry. Skeeter is determined for the disenfranchised to be better respected by the local community, and teams up with local maids Abileen (Viola Davis) and Minny (Octavia Spencer) to get their story, good and bad, be told.

Oh, my, is that a Best Supporting Actress nomination you see?

Okay, it's not all about the white women. My description above doesn't quite lend evidence to the fact that the film is equally told from the twin perspectives of Skeeter and Abileen. One is a downtrodden servant hoping things don't get worse, while the other is a privileged young woman pushing for things to get better. The two find unlikely allies in one another, and it's a common tale of two mismatched individuals teaming up against a common enemy. That enemy may be a seemingly simple combination of intolerance and cruelty, but The Help threads an entire spectrum of entertainment for the audience to gather in. The last movie I can remember that could have you crying one minute and roaring with laughter the next was last year's The King's Speech, the eventual Oscar winner for Best Picture. Director Tate Taylor does a surprisingly strong turn here, as you would never expect this level of artistic sophistication from a mere rookie to the silver screen. It's not perfect, as some things are a little too neatly wrapped by the film's conclusion, but as a title its cohesion was far more secure than it had any right to be.

Bargain hunting is a much more dangerous sport in Jackson

Possibly the most important story here is the number of impressive female actors and characters that fill this film's roster. The Help is a title where men have little impact on the story as a whole or are not seen at all, and one very effective bit of evidence of this is when one character's abusive husband is never actually shown on the screen, despite his obvious presence in the household. It's obvious from the get-go that the women rule the roost, and with this collection of talent it can never be accused that this would be a bad thing. Emma Stone continues to impress as she uses 2011 as a major stepping stone to perhaps bigger and better things. Playing an ugly duckling is difficult enough for Stone, doing so believably while being a hero to root for comes so naturally that it's hard to connect her previous comedic roles to this very elegant dramatic performance. Viola Davis meanwhile plays a role much closer to her usual fare, but since that is the same level that got her nominated for awards in films like Doubt, that is hardly folly. She manages to be the heart and soul of The Help, no easy task with the cast around her. One that nearly steals the show is Octavia Spencer, an underrated character actress who enjoys some of the film's best sequences as a sass-mouthing, trouble-making maid. Bryce Dallas Howard also defies all my expectations in the Cruella deVille role in which she is presented. I've never been a fan of her work, but this particular film exemplifies her best traits and lets her be as saucy as she wants. These four are surrounded by a strong core of talented women, each with something special to bring to their roles. Jessica Chastain, Allison Janney, Sissy Spacek and Cicely Tyson all put on amazing work, some surpassing even their own high water marks. Sure, there are some men visible in the foreground (most notably Private Practice's Chris Lowell) but these men have little to do with how the story is told and for the most part are simply unimportant.

Sissy Spacek is still good! Who knew?

I knew going in that The Help would be an entertaining film, one that would evoke several emotions and many at once. What I wasn't expecting was the best movie I've seen all year. For the first time since April, I have a new #1 for 2011. It may have taken forever for a legitimate Academy Award nominee to rear its head, but this one was well worth the wait. I simply cannot recommend it enough, especially considering the lackluster fare that currently clogs the majority of cinemas this summer. With this especially stellar cast, a talented storyteller at the helm, and laughs and tears a plenty, The Help is definitely a title you should be making plans to see even as you finish reading this review.