You Got Shyalaman-ed

It may be difficult, but remember when M. Night Shyamalan was actually considered a good director? With the release of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs, the director was a shot of fresh air amid a sea of dry, unimaginative movies. His infamous and unpredictable twists became his staple, eagerly awaited by audiences around the world. It's uncertain where it all went wrong. People were strongly divided on his 2004 effort The Village and again in 2006's Lady in the Water. I don't know a single soul who will admit to liking his R-rated The Happening, and his adaptation of children's series The Last Airbender may go down as one of the most reviled movies of all time. But while he's certainly hit rock-bottom creatively, there's nothing saying that a director can't return to his early quality of production, and Shyamalan certainly hopes that After Earth will put him back in the upper echelon of crowd-pleasing directors once more. Helping him out are the father/son pairing of Will and Jaden Smith. Will, of course, is one of the top-grossing actors of the modern era, with such hits as Men in Black, Ali, and Independence Day being successful largely due to his presence. While Jaden does not (obviously) have the filmography of his legendary father, he did play major roles in The Day the Earth Stood Still and the Karate Kid remake, marking his place as one to keep an eye on. And of course both father and son starred in the acclaimed Pursuit of Happyness, whose success the filmmakers are trying to emulate in this science fiction tale.

Where are we, Kansas?

A thousand years after we destroyed our ecosystem, Earth has become a death-trap evolved to kill us. We responded by taking our people to a far-off colony and starting over. Now Earth is getting it's first human visitors in a long time, in the form of a crashed spaceship with two confirmed survivors: General Cypher Rage (Will Smith) and his teenage son Kitai (Jaden). They had been traveling to another planet for survival training when a meteor shower damaged their ship and forced them to crash-land in this inhospitable place, where the General suffers from two broken legs that leave him incapacitated. Worse, their emergency beacon was damaged in the crash, and with it almost all hope of being rescued. There is only one chance, as Kitai must journey to the broken tail section of the ship, a few days' journey, to find a second beacon there. He must face all kinds of impossible odds and unpredictable obstacles, but one thing he might not be able to handle is the cargo the ship had been carrying; a beast so fearsome that few if any could survive in the face of its rage.

Prescient about the future, or just being a dick?

Even with all the usual sci-fi trappings, After Earth is primarily a story about the bond between fathers and sons. It's obvious from moment one that Kitai feels inferior to his war hero father, and is doing anything in his power to make up for his presumed shortcomings. In turn, Cypher is a stern, military father who doesn't seem to be able to understand his emotionally-sensitive son. It's this VERY basic idea that forms the core of the story, and not the effects and situation surrounding it, a tale provided in turn with a screenplay by The Book of Eli scribe Gary Whitta and from a concept attributed to father Smith.. It's hardly original, but considering that almost all of Shyamalan's effort is focused on fostering this bond, it's nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

Um, you're not strapped into your safety harness. That's a big no-no.

Unfortunately, while the concept itself is admirable, the execution is far from it. Obviously, a large percentage of that blame belongs to Shyamalan, who is ultimately hampered when you take away his one major tool. That's right, there are absolutely NO twists in After Earth, unless you count the fact that the pair are, in-fact, on our current planet, a fact pushed in every trailer and on every poster for the film. It illustrates how little the director can do with a relatively straightforward script, and what could have been before becomes a pipe dream as little to any of the story has anything beyond "get from one place to the next", with a few forced moments of father/son bonding. And that doesn't even cover the scientific head-scratchers, such as how a planet could possible evolve to kill humans when they haven't been around for 1000 years. Note to anybody and everybody: even if you don't believe in the idea of evolution, it most definitely doesn't work that way. Or perhaps the moment when Cypher argues for Kitai to make his way to a mountaintop to send the distress signal, when the "mountain" in question is obviously an active volcano.

Taking a page from Tebow's book.

The filmmakers could have made up for the story transgressions if their efforts had excelled in either the special effects department or the acting corps, but both seem destined to disappoint their audiences. The SFX is almost cartoonish, with even basic creatures obvious CGI creations. The environments are certainly lush enough, but don't quite make up for the lackadaisical creature design. But worse is the acting, in which both Smiths adopt a dialect that's almost as harsh to the ear as fingernails across a chalkboard. Sophie Okonedo and Zoe Kravitz are better but are relegated to small doses due to the script. If that weren't enough, the film sidelines Will,  meaning that almost all of their scenes together are over a communication device. The film subsequently becomes focused on Jaden, a mistake as he doesn't yet have the natural charisma his father had at almost the same age. Kitai quickly becomes unwatchable, and as he takes central stage, so does he drag down After Earth with him.

Will Smith is giving me the stink eye for this review.

And drag it down he and everybody else does. This might have been a decent film with different actors, a different director, better special effects, a different story and an altered concept, but... well, that's just about everything, isn't it? It's rare when a film gets just about EVERYTHING wrong, even with the mediocre fare they've put out in 2013. It's still not the worst that I've seen this year (that's still the abysmal Movie 43) but it ought to be remembered among that pack when it's all done. Really, there's nothing to see here. This isn't the sci-fi fare you're looking for.

For God's sake, just RUN!

A Black Man Cometh

Right now we seem to be living in an era of Hollywood nostalgia. Everywhere you turn is a remake of a classic film, an adaptation of a popular book or television show, or a new sequel to an old franchise. The latter has had the least success in theaters recently with relaunches such as Scream 4 and American Reunion failing to live up to the box office standards of their predecessors. After a year in which the domestic box office sank 3.8 percent and ticket sales dropped 4.7 percent to their lowest levels since 1995, it’s obvious that those in power are afraid to deviate from the “tried and true” methods that had allowed them to achieve market dominance in the first place. The rise of the sequel/prequel is the most obvious example of this fear of change, and we entered 2012 with 27 franchise titles awaiting release, including The Dark Knight Rises, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt 2, and The Hobbit. Most of those are sequels from recent films, with Prometheus (a sorta-prequel to Ridley Scott’s Alien) being one of the obvious exceptions. This week marked the release of Men in Black 3, a sequel ten years in the making. MIB3’s release is not only interesting in that it is another long-awaited entry to a popular franchise, but for being the first major film appearance of star Will Smith in more than three years.

"Woah, where was I for the last three years?"

From 1995 through 2008, the actor formerly known as “The Fresh Prince” was arguably the most popular man in Hollywood. A fan favorite, everything Will Smith touched turned to gold, with fourteen films that he headlined accumulating worldwide grosses of over $100 million, four of which (Independence Day, I Am Legend, Hancock and the original Men in Black) grossing over $500 million. He was also a critically-acclaimed performer, using his easy charm and relentless dedication to earn Oscar nominations for his portrayals of real-life figures Muhammad Ali and Chris Gardner. Strangely, Smith decided to step away from the bright lights after his late 2008 film Seven Pounds, presumably to focus on raising his family. His return is a boon to a flagging industry, and it’s good simply to have a proven star back on the big screen.

New York gets a much-needed renovation.

When I first heard that Men in Black 3 was coming to theaters, I admit that my first thoughts were skeptical ones. While I loved the first Men in Black, both a critical and commercial success back in 1997, its sequel five years later was a mess. This practically put a kibosh on any future franchise hopes, despite the good will built up by the first film and the popular animated series that had followed. After the recent failures at reinvigorating long-dormant series, I had no reason to believe that MIB3 could be anything more than a nostalgic cash-grab, but as I learned more about the story I was quickly brought over to the other side. When veteran Men in Black (a top-secret agency who keeps aliens a secret, for those not in the know) Agent K (the eternally dour Tommy Lee Jones) becomes the victim of a time-travel paradox, the only man who doesn’t remember that K died over forty years ago is his partner, Agent J (Smith). J resolves to use an illegal machine to go back in time and fix the problem, and restore his friend to the land of the living. To do so, he must team up with the K of the past (Josh Brolin), and track down and stop the vicious Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement). Boris is out to not only kill K, but prevent a global defense net that K was going to deploy from coming to be, opening the door for an alien invasion that Earth has absolutely no chance of repelling.

The Mad Men audition nobody saw...

It was the inclusion of Brolin that really drew me to MIB3, as the trailers seemed to show the actor perfectly mimicking the mannerisms and personality of a young Jones. Brolin, who’s had a long career but seemed to finally break out in 2007 with No Country for Old Men, has enjoyed a string of praise for his roles in W, Milk and True Grit. These films helped cement his place in cinema as a strong supporting actor, and that talent is on full display here. Brolin separates himself from the rest of the cast – including a strong return by Smith – in his performance as Young K, taking over the reins from Jones with apparent ease. It’s a shame that the entire concept of his appearance means that Brolin will be unlikely to appear in any more sequels, as it will be difficult to enjoy when we know that we were missing. Smith proves he still has the cocky charm to carry a film on his back, and doesn’t appear to feel any poor effects from his acting hiatus. It’s a good thing Jones’ role was reduced, as he looks even more tired than usual (and you know he’s getting too old for this shit), which is a giant flag that the series would be running out of time even without a great opening weekend. Other great additions to the cast include Flight of the Conchords’ Clement, who appears to have graduated from the Hugo Weaving/Tim Curry school of movie villainy; Emma Thompson and Alice Eve as MIB’s new head Agent O and her younger incarnation, respectively; and Michael Stuhlbarg, who plays an alien with the ability to see all potential timelines as one.  Stuhlbarg especially stands out, and alongside Brolin brings the whole experience to a level beyond what the film SHOULD have been able to do.

"I'm just going to ask you once: Are you a Communist spy??"

It’s not just the return of Smith that makes MIB3 so special, but those behind the scenes as well. Director Barry Sonnenfeld, Executive Producer Steven Spielberg and producers Walter F. Parkes and Laurie MacDonald all return, and their contributions do a great job of replicating the combined environments of real life and cheesy science fiction that made the first film such a crowd-pleasing hit in the first place. Screenwriter Etan Cohen helps keep the story fresh, introducing the time travel concept that is the film’s central plot device while simultaneously exploring K’s back-story in a way that doesn’t involve numerous, angst-riddled voiceovers. Some of the series’ minor staples, including the knowledge that the more “eccentric” celebrities out there are actually aliens in disguise, are downplayed somewhat in this go-around, though seeing Lady Gaga on MIB’s watch list does garner a few chuckles. But while the film does have some inspired moments (including having SNL vet Bill Hader play renowned artist Andy Warhol as an undercover Agent W), MIB3 does its best when not trying to do too much, and allowing the natural charisma of Smith and crew to do more with traditional humor.

The much-anticipated Bieber cameo.

After so long an absence, it’s almost guaranteed that this will be the final entry in the proud Men in Black franchise. That’s a shame, as there is a lot here to suggest that the series could build up steam under the right circumstances. Jones would almost certainly have to go, but finding someone who matches Smith’s irreverent on-screen attitude would be nearly impossible, even if they hadn’t already statistically eliminated Brolin from the running. Still, if this is the end for J, K and the rest of the alphabet, at least the MIB name can go out on a high note. It may not be as entertaining or as unique as the original, but Men in Black 3 still manages to combine the right amounts of action and humor that can make for the perfect summer film, making it the #5 film of 2012. As for Will Smith’s big screen comeback, I can’t imagine a more appropriate return for the actor, and hope that all his future big-screen work can be this entertaining for however long he decides to keep the fires going.