Prepare for Extinction: A Summer Movie Preview

Making over $1.2 billion last summer, Iron Man 3 is a tough act to follow.

Well, it's that time of the year again. May 2 begins the annual Summer Movie season, and every major studio is pumping out their tentpole films, in hopes that they will not only be successful, but perhaps grow legs and attain the kind of box office receipts of something like The Avengers or Iron Man 3. And trying NOT to be the next The Lone Ranger or Battleship,while they're at it. But while these kinds of blockbusters have begun to prop up in other, less dense times of the year (such as the most recent November with the Thor and Hunger Games sequels or Captain America less than a month ago), Summer is still the time you'll see most of these big releases, especially with school out and people looking for any refuge from the oppressive heat. So with all these comic book thrillers, ribald comedies and immersive animated efforts, the question becomes: where do you spend your money? What looks good? What looks bad? What will get delayed at the last minute, completely screwing up perspectives like these? Here are the scheduled movies coming out between May and August, 2014, and some thoughts on each one.

MAY

The Best Around

As is often the case, the film that opens the Summer season is one of the most anticipated. Yes, the marketing has been a bit relentless. Yes, the first installment wasn't universally loved (though to be fair, that was mainly because it was yet another origin story). But The Amazing Spider-Man 2 still lives up to its name thanks to an all-star cast - both returning and added - exceptional SFX, and the direction of Marc Webb, which many people forget was actually quite stellar in the first installment. Sony is hoping for a lot from their new take on the comic book franchise, already planning future movies centered around villains The Sinister Six and antihero Venom, but their next step towards those goals and future sequels demand a successful release here. And from what I can see, this is a movie that could live up to that high standard.

Goodfellas

Last year Pacific Rim rode the concept of giant robots fighting giant monsters but didn't draw many audiences. As visually engrossing as it was (and pretty good to boot), it just didn't appeal to much of an audience. But hopefully Godzilla is still a recognizable enough property to garner legitimate attention, and reinvigorate the "giant monster" genre... Director Brian Singer returns to superheroes and the franchise he helped build with X-Men: Days of Future Past. Now the question is whether we'll get the director who brought us The Usual Suspects, or the one who brought us Jack the Giant Slayer... I'm only on board recently with Disney's Maleficent, as I'm not entirely sold on the villain-centric storyline. I am utterly convinced however, that if ANYONE can make it work, it's Angelina Jolie... Speaking of Disney, their latest based-on-a-true-story sports drama Million Dollar Arm will test the star power - and perhaps the throwing arm - of departing Mad Man Jon Hamm... Just because Drew Barrymore is costarring in an Adam Sandler flick doesn't mean it's automatic gold. Blended looks to be their most offensive pairing yet, so don't count on their usual magic... Palo Alto is based on the writings of James Franco, but otherwise the directorial debut of Gia Coppola looks pretty good... My cousin Mark works for Open Road, so my endorsement of Chef should perhaps be taken with a grain of salt. However, the last time he recommended one of his studio's projects to me (and probably everyone else in the family, come to think of it), it was End of Watch, and so his recommendations are definitely something to which I pay close attention.

Bad Company

R-Rated comedies are a mixed bag, as for every Ted or 21 Jump Street are a handful of unworthy titles like The Dictator, The Campaign, Bad Teacher and The Watch dragging the genre down. Seth Rogen comedies tend to draw a lot of attention, but that doesn't mean that they're good, even when they have talented casts and crews like The Neighbors... Well, at least Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return is a more faithful adaptation of L Frank Baum's book series than last year's Sam Raimi massacre. But with animation reminiscent of a bad Saturday morning cartoon show, infantile humor, and Lea Michelle, I wouldn't expect too many people to care about it even if it were the only animated film all summer... Seth MacFarlane returns to cinema with western parody A Million Ways to Die in the West. Ted was a nice surprise, but I don't see a way that the director recreates the magic that made the 2012 surprise hit work. At best, it'll be okay. At worst, we're looking at career suicide...It's nice that comedy Mom's Night Out comes out on Mother's Day weekend. Now if it only looked even remotely funny... Elizabeth Banks is growing on me, but that doesn't mean her latest comedy Walk of Shame is going to be any good, especially when your director also did Drillbit Taylor and Without a Paddle... Jesse Eisenberg's new indie The Double sees him playing two different people with differing characters. So why is it that the actor appears to be exactly the same in both?... Is The Angriest Man in Brooklyn Robin Williams' attempt at regaining his relevance? If so, maybe he should instead get back into screwball comedies and step away from movies too ambiguously designed to be remotely approachable.

June

 The Best Around

As I've often mentioned, 21 Jump Street was one of the biggest surprises for me in 2012, and directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller are back with stars Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and Ice Cube with 22 Jump Street. But with the story itself seeming derivative of the first movie - a fact which the characters gleefully admit - and the fact that the trailers haven't really been standout, what makes this sequel so appealing? Well, with this team and the chemistry they showed two years ago, you can expect uncensored gags, irreverent madness, and witty dialogue. Add Peter Stormare as a strong villain, and you've potentially got the recipe for a sequel that surpasses the original, in spirit if not material.

Goodfellas

Dreamworks Animation probably hasn't had so much demand for a sequel as must exist for How to Train Your Dragon 2. Continuing the story of viking Hiccup and his dragon partner Toothless, the company is absolutely attempting to dominate the Summer movie season after bombing out with Turbo last year... Tom Cruise action thriller Edge of Tomorrow sees the star return to science fiction, which seems to be his most profitable genre of late. What makes this movie different? How about the casting of the uber-talented Emily Blunt?... After playing siblings in last month's YA adaptation Divergent, Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort play romantic co-leads in another one, John Green's The Fault in Our Stars. The book's popularity ought to ensure a healthy audience... After all the studio edits, it almost might be better to wait for the Director's Cut on DVD, but sci-fi class struggle epic Snowpiercer finally hits theaters this month and marks the Hollywood debut of Korean director Bong Joon-ho.

Bad Company

You might be mistaken for thinking that Transformers: Age of Extinction will be different from the previous installments of the 80's TV show-adapted film franchise. Sure, the ads have been explosive and exciting to watch, and we all like to see Mark Wahlberg, but then you have to remember again that this is most definitely a Michael Bay movie. Haha, no, you won't fool me again, Mr. Bay... Think Like a Man Too takes the cast from the first Think Like a Man and just drops them in Las Vegas. Is there any point? Not that I can tell, and Kevin Hart is inching closer and closer to overexposure with every movie in which he plays Kevin Hart... Just when you didn't think Clint Eastwood could get any older and more out of touch, he directs a musical based on the nostalgic Broadway hit Jersey Boys. I think Dirty Harry might be completely incapable of telling modern stories anymore... Comedian Gillian Robespierre makes her feature directorial debut with Obvious Child, clearly an attempt to appeal to the same crowd that saw Sleepwalk With Me. I just don't know if there's an audience out there for her work. It's certainly not me.

July

The Best Around

In all honesty, we probably remember Rise of the Planet of the Apes with a little bit of rose-tinted glasses. Yes, it was a solid movie, but if it hadn't been for Andy Serkis doing his usual excellent CGI performance, would it really have stood out? Thankfully, we don't have to worry about that, as Dawn of the Planet of the Apes looks better in just about every conceivable way, from an improved cast (Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman), to the dystopian, futuristic setting and a compelling story. Although sadly Rupert Wyatt does not return as director (replaced by Cloverfield and Let Me In director Matt Reeves), I still have nothing but the highest hopes for this reinvigorated franchise.

Goodfellas

Ten years after winning over an entire generation by writing, directing and starring in indie favorite Garden State, Zach Braff gets behind the camera once again to present us with Wish I was Here. He brings with him a talented cast that includes Joey King, Mandy Patinkin, Josh Gad, Donald Faison and James Avery (in his last film appearance) so you know hipsters and other film buffs will be referencing this one for years... Hercules seems to mix elements both good (star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and unsettling (director Brett Ratner), but I'm willing to bet it will be better than you might expect. At the very least it'll be leaps and bounds beyond what January's The Legend of Hercules could have hoped to achieve... The Purge, a basic locked-house horror film, was a piece of garbage. It's sequel, The Purge: Anarchy, takes the interesting concept of the original and actually seems to DO SOMETHING with it, which really ought to make all the difference... Sex Tape is the latest debaucherous effort from stars Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, but unlike Bad Teacher, the story and characters are easily approachable, and the film looks to provide some solid laughs. Maybe this is the movie that gets Diaz out of a lot of critics' doghouses... Earth to Echo mixes the found footage genre with E.T., and if you don't at least think that sounds interesting in some way, I'm not sure how else you can understand how excited this concept makes me... Sinister director Scott Derrickson returns to horror with Deliver Us from Evil, another haunted house movie that will scare the poop out of everyone... What makes indie romantic movie Begin Again watchable? For one, director John Carney is the man who brought us Once, a must-see for any music lover. Second, Mark Ruffalo leads an uber-talented and charming cast that includes Keira Knightley, Hailee Steinfeld, James Cordon, CeeLo Green and Catherine Keener. I can't imagine a situation in which I wouldn't want to watch this.

Bad Company

I'm not sure what happened to the Wachowski siblings, but it's a bad sign when their latest motion picture does nothing but reference their earlier, better work. Have their creative juices dried up so much that repeating The Matrix was the best they could do? Talented cast aside, Jupiter Ascending is one big budget spectacle I'm not looking forward to... Melissa McCarthy and Susan Sarandon star in comedy Tammy, which looks to be right in the R-Rated wheelhouse McCarthy has carved out for herself. Now if previews would show me that same spark I've yet to witness... And So It Goes continues the careers of Hollywood actors Michael Douglas, Diane Keaton and director Rob Reiner in a film that will surely be targeting older audiences uninterested in anything else already out... Disney's Planes was fortunate to come out at a time when there wasn't much family fare available, justifying the quick-release sequel Planes: Fire and Rescue for the tiniest of audience members in July, when Dragon 2 will be winding down its own theatrical run. The question is which movie families will want to see at that point... Thought the Step Up franchise was done? Nope, Step Up All In is a generic dance movie, but previews aren't showing me anything potentially "Wow"- worthy, compared to its earlier entries. Let's face it, this is a genre that has fully run its course... Well, maybe Kevin Hart's stranglehold on comedy concert films will come to a close with The Fluffy Movie, focusing on stand-up artist Gabriel Iglesias. More likely is that audiences won't care, as Hart had built up a following not only through stand-up but also in supporting roles in film, while Iglesias just hasn't earned that same level of goodwill.

August

The Best Around

Guardians of the Galaxy, in many ways, signals a drastic change in how the public perceives and accepts comic book movies. For a long time now, the big two comic companies have been adapting their titles, but they've been focusing on proven names, like Superman, Batman and the X-Men. Even when Marvel began their contiguous universe, they started off with the safest bets; not just bestselling, but male, Caucasian, human heroes. That changes in August, when a little-known, multi-species team gets their shot at the big screen. The fact that this movie is coming out before DC and Warner Bros. have even ANNOUNCED a Wonder Woman movie shows just how far Marvel has come and how deep into their library they're willing to delve. And while it seems a little... offbeat when compared to its predecessors, that is also a sign that the studio is willing to reach out of their comfort zone and risk making something unique. And even if it FAILS, you know it would only be a minor inconvenience to the Marvel filmmaking juggernaut, and won't stop all innovation in its tracks, a la Green Lantern.

Goodfellas... and Ladies

At first glance, you might not associate French filmmaker Luc Besson with strong female characters, but when you actually think about it, it makes sense. Anne Parillaud in Nikita. Natalie Portman in Leon: The Professional. Milla Jovovich in The Fifth Element. Now you can add Scarlett Johanssen in Lucy to that list. This fast-paced mind-fuck looks absolutely insane, with Johanssen at her ass-kicking best... Brendan Gleeson stars as a good priest under threat of death in Cavalry, John Michael McDonagh's follow-up to his critically-acclaimed The Guard. It looks like a good mix of humor and human spirit, though it might slip under many folks' radars, like Seven Psychopaths did two years ago... Into the Storm stars The Hobbit's Richard Armitage and is a disaster movie involving tornadoes. Your mileage may vary on how good the script is, as what's been shown of the visuals is fairly impressive... Chadwick Boseman already tackled one African American legend in 42, and now he gets that opportunity again, playing James Brown in Get on Up, the latest from The Help director Tate Taylor. I don't know if lightning will strike twice for either actor or director, but it's a compelling subject, at least... Let's Be Cops has all the makings of an under-the-radar hit. It's got up-and-coming stars, a unique and way out there story, and - oh, yeah - it actually looks funny. Don't be surprised if this turns out to be the summer's best comedy... Little has been released about The Hundred-Foot Journey, but it stars Helen Mirren, so I'll buy it based on her alone... The same goes for Natalie Portman in Jane Got a Gun, which I can only assume continues the story of her little-explored character from Cold Mountain. No? Well, I'll still check it out... The Loft is a remake of a Swedish film and is from the same director, but it's the cast - which includes Karl Urban, James Marsden, Rhona Mitra and Eric Stonestreet - that colors me interested... I almost didn't mention it, but One Chance looks like a real charmer. It stars Craig from Doctor Who, so it already has a leg up. Yes, I know he's done other things, but he's CRAIG from DOCTOR WHO. Seriously, what else does he need to do?

Bad Company

In the latest effort to ensnare audiences through sequel fatigue, The Expendables 3 hard targets that 18-49 male demographic that isn't worn down by the cinema violence from the previous three months. It combines the classic, weathered crew from the first two movies with a younger cast that includes MMA fighters, boxers, Twilight castoffs and recovering antisemites. Without Chuck Norris cracking jokes about himself. And it will probably be as good as that sounds... Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is the sequel diehard fans have been waiting for ever since 2005. Unfortunately, nobody seems to know it's coming and fewer seem very excited. Those hoping for more from the mind of Frank Miller are likely to be disappointed... The Giver has the advantage of being based on the beloved, best-selling Lois Lowry novel. It however has the disadvantage of looking like low budget, semantic crap... As Above, So Below could be scary, but has the temerity to be a found-footage horror rip-off of The Descent in the year 2014. Hollywood, the audiences are shrinking, not growing. It's time to give it up... If you want to see a movie that has a decent cast, a director who has never filmed a feature narrative, cliched dialogue and a "been there, done that" premise, then you've already seen If I Stay and even Chloe Moretz isn't reason enough to check it out... With no Pixar movie this summer, there's absolutely a dearth of quality animated films coming out in its place. Underdogs, the latest flop (just watch) from Universal Studios, takes a shot at making a movie centered around the tabletop curiosity known as Foosball. I mean, why not just make a movie about soccer if you're not going to TRY and appeal to an audience?... Speaking of which, feel-good sports movies based on a true story really are dime-a-dozen (or at least their budgets appear that way), so it's no surprise that When the Game Stands Tall follows that same suit. The genre needs something special to bring it back to the forefront of cinema, but there doesn't seem to be anything here... Jessabelle is your standard end-of-summer paranormal horror romp, complete with the standard tropes that came from everything before it. Unlike previous efforts like The Possession or even Fright Night, there just doesn't appear to be anything unique to justify an audience spending money to see this.

That's it! What are you most looking forward to over the next four months? Anything you feel I failed to mention? Any predictions for this years winners and losers? I hope you all have an excellent movie-watching summer, and I'm excited to see what the tentpoles of 2014 bring to the table! Hope to review most if not all of these for you soon!